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RAUF TO SUE TENANTS OF HIS SLUMS - SAYS CHARGING ISLAMIC DEFINITION OF SLANDER IS HIS RELIGIOUS RIGHT

  

  

 

  

  

September 16, 2010

Imam Faisal Abdul Rauf, the leader of the Ground Zero Mega-Mosque Initiative, today filed suit in a hastily convened Shariah court against all of the tenants of his slums in Union City New Jersey, charging Islamic slander.

The Imam maintains that suing Islamically is his religious right.

  

"it may be true I am a slumlord, but it is illegal to say it" said Imam Rauf.

  

"As a prominent and important Muslim religious leader it is my right to sue them as the Shariah provides," he said.

Under Shariah law, which Rauf intends to introduce to America from Ground Zero, slander is not defined as an untruth about a Muslim, but only as something said that might hurt the feelings of a Muslim.

  

 

An apartment complex in Union City, NJ owned and maintained by Imam Rauf (photo courtesy of Mega-Mosque! In Your Face! Promotions)

  

"And my feelings are truly hurt" said the Imam, adding "while it may be true that I am a slumlord, the Shariah regards any statement by anyone that I am a slumlord as illegal. Calling me a slumlord causes me pain, and those who did so will pay" he said.

Standard punishment for Islamic slanderers is a "Hadd" punishment of 80 lashes.

  

 

 

Randy Jenkins, tenant of Apartment 23C, whined about the lack of electricity and running water, and so receives his Shariah punishment (Fars News Agency)

 

Asked about the Imam's plans to go all Islamic on his tenants, President Obama said "it's his religious right under the First Amendment to insist on Shariah proceedings and punishments against his ungrateful tenants. They should have thought about who they were messing with before they opened their big mouths. I have no pity for Islamic slanderers."

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, when asked about the situation, was speechless -- possibly for the first time in his entire life.

 

 

 

 

AN OPEN LETTER TO ALL AMERICAN ISLAMOPHOBES & BIGOTS from Imam Ralph

 

 

 

 

Dear American Islamophobes & Bigots:

Fuck you. I will do whatever I want to do, wherever and whenever I want to do it, and you cannot stop me.

Are we clear?

ARE WE CLEAR??????

You think flags are the only flammable things around? Hmmm?

So, let's all try and get along now, before you get hurt again, okee dokee?

Peace,

~Imam Ralph

 

 

 

 

CNN: RIVAL RALLIES IN NEW YORK WHERE 3 PEOPLE SHOW UP AGAINST MOSQUE, 14,000,000 APPEAR IN SUPPORT

   

  

September 11, 2010

  

 

 

  

 

(by Fareed Zakaria)

New York -- Hours after families remembered those accidentally killed nine years ago at ground zero, the nation's debate over a proposed peaceful, bridge-building Islamic center with only a miniscule little "mosquette" very loosely attached that may be built many, many, many blocks away, played out Saturday at opposing rallies.

 

An artists depiction of the gorgeous Community Center (CNN)

 

A "rally" against the loving and wonderful proposed center began first, as three random people wandering by were grabbed by Dutch Nazi political criminal Geert Wilders and ordered to listen to him speak. Two other speakers then reminded the three passersby, who were being held against their will by fascist thug and right wing radical Islamophobe Robert Spencer, that all Muslims should be deported immediately, and all mosques in America should be converted into cowboy bars.

I did not hear or see that personally, I was getting a manicure at the time, but my personal assistant and valet Abdul Muhammad told me about it.

 

The three people forcefully rounded up to protest the Islamic Center are out of view in this photo. The tens of thousands of others seen here were just everyday New York pedestrians, and were not in any way related to any protest against the Center (Atlas Shrugs)

 

Evidently, for racist, bigoted mosque opponents it was a sad, ill-advised, and almost non-existant attempt at a rally, as well as a pathetic failure for Islamophobes in America who espouse nothing but pure hatred against this country's peaceful Muslim sweethearts.

However, on the other side, more than 14,000,000 supporters of the Commnunity Center of Peace came out, and they all sang kumbaya in unison as Imam Rauf, that very model of moderate peace and tolerance, wept with joy.

Clearly, the rumored "80%" opposition to the Community Center of Sweet Dreams and Light is just some kind of xenophobic urban legend.

 

Although only a few protesters in support of the Islamic Center can be seen in this photo, trust us, there were 14,000,000 supporters there. Unfortunately, our still photographer left the wide angle lens for his camera at home (CNN)

 

So, America, it's clearly time to face the facts as we give them to you and just drop your ridiculous and unsupported opposition to to this wonderful, inspiring, and mandatory Cordoba House Community Center.

We can do this the easy way or the hard way, it's your choice. Imam Rauf firmly intends to build the bridge by which Americans will come to Islam, and we at CNN think it's high time you redneck ingrates prepare to cross it. 

 

 

NV Times #1 With a Bullet (Fired From an AK-47)!!!: "The Imam Ralph Diaries" (Installment 2)

  

 

 

  

(ER'sB will be featuring three "diary excerpts" per installment from the runaway Bestseller "The Imam Ralph Diaries")

  

 

  

 

 

  

12 November, 1430 AH

Dear Diary,

That ungrateful, intransigent waiter has again set upon a course to test my patience. He is acting as if he is the "owner" of our victory mosque site. The insufferable, ignorant douchebag has another think coming if he believes that he would be anything at all, short of a fry cook at Applebees, without having had the help of H.E. and myself. On other matters, video of me "praying" over the Qur'an was shot today as part of our da'wa/propaganda campaign in preparation for the resistance we anticipate, and I must say that I was able to make myself appear so devout and harmless in it! Imagine me, as a holy man! I appear resplendent in white, on my knees praying and just oozing piety! Fatima my secretary told me how handsome I looked, and so I took the whore right where she stood. She was not wearing so much as a hijab today, so of course she was asking for it, inshallah. And naturally, He was!

~Imam Ralph

  

  

 

 

13 November, 1430

Dear Diary,

Spoke with the dear Prince this morning and he assured me that a prominent da'wa segment, sometime in December on FOX, will be no problem at all. The cow thinks she's the best one to handle it and I will consider allowing her to be the "face" of our stealth maneuvers, at least initially. The dhimma-like Americans seem to have something of a soft spot for women, so sending her in to "strike a treaty" with the infidels while we plan our clandestine offensive may indeed be prudent. On another front, Nicholas from Hunk-O-Mania called today to confirm our party for next week, and I informed him that while that very ripped dancer, Teddy, is indeed extremely cute, the fact that he insists the Muslim world did not contribute significantly to the Aerospace industry will, necessarily, preclude him from my affections this time around. I believe I have learned my lesson: one must never attempt to argue on a religious supremacist level with meat, no matter how attractive, beguiling, or irresistible that meat may be. I also think Fatima is jealous of my other passions, but as I have told her, the Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) himself was well known for occasionally enjoying a piece, not only upon him, but within him him as well, and I will continue to also, inshallah.

~Imam Ralph

 

 

 

15 November, 1430 AH

Dear Diary,

I swear to Allah if that insufferable, cretinous waiter does not mend his ways he will find himself in very unpleasant circumstances! H.E. insists that we must keep him on due to that one crucial connection of his, but nevertheless my patience is truly wearing very, very thin. Fortunately I have Fatima, my right hand possession, to help me relieve the terrible stress. Actually, that black eye of hers is not entirely unattractive, and the cast on her arm does, indeed, make her quite alluring.

~Imam Ralph 

 

(Look for ER'sB's next installment of excerpts from "The Imam Ralph Diaries" coming soon!)

 

ER'B is proud to say, we support:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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DISTURBING STUDY: The Dogs of America Seem to Come Out In Support of Ground Zero Mosque Imam

 

August 27, 2010

  

(Chicago) In a poll conducted amongst thousands of American canines, it's been revealed that the majority seem to have come out in favor of the Ground Zero Mosque, and especially its highly controversial leader, Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf.

This is hardly the result that was expected, since most dogs in the U.S. have always been considered to be very loyal and patriotic.

John Gaynor, Director of the Field Intelligence Digest Organization (FIDO), a Chicago based Polling Research company, said that he even went over the collected data twice, just to be certain.

  

 

"Rauf! Rauf! Rauf! Rauf!" answered "Rocky" when asked who he supports in the debate (photo by Daddy)

  

The numbers are certainly shocking: dogs sound like they favor Rauf by a margin of 4 to 1.

"I imagine there are going to be some very unhappy mommies and daddies out there who will be seriously considering sending their little tail-waggers back to obedience school" said Gaynor.

"In addition to learning basic stuff such as sit, down, come, and stay, doggie-schools may also have to start adding a Qur'an and Hadith class or two, just to counter the radical Islamic ideas that America's pooches must be picking up from somewhere, most likely from just being in the living room whenever Keith Olberman is on the TV" he added.

  

 

 

"Rauf!" replied "Miah" in a deep, convincing-sounding voice when asked whose side she supports. This beautiful Golden Retriever has clearly never read Sahih Bukhari 4/54/539 (photo by Mommy).

  

Hugh Fitzgerald, Vice President of Jihadwatch.org, and one of America's leading experts on Islam (as well as a dog lover), was particularly disturbed by the findings.

"If these pooches understood just how profoundly the texts, tenents, and atmospherics of Islam inculcate a very deep religious hatred for, and bigoted fear of, dogs -- institutionally, systematically, and without mercy or the hope of general tolerance -- they probably wouldn't be so vocal in their support of this man, Rauf, or his ideals."

 

Fitzgerald pointed us to two specific passages in the Hadith Sahih Bukhari (the traditions of the "Prophet") where dogs are spoken of in relation to the Muslim Prophet:

'Angels do not enter a house which has either a dog or a picture of a dog'
(sahih Bukari 4/54/539)

Mohammad also ordered all dogs in Arabia to be killed
(sahih Bukari 4/54/540)

  

Hugh Fitzgerald of JihadWatch.Org (file)

  

Fitzgerald noted that, in short, Islam is not, and has never been, a friend to man's best friend.

He said that he always believed that the dogs he's spoken to, either firmly, or with kindness and affection, understood the dangers to them from Islam; but in light of this new study, he's had to reconsider what he's previously taken for granted. He hopes that, however, if Max, Buddy, Rocky, Good Boy, or the others do feel that way, that they'll at least spend some time, with their masters, reading up on Islam.  

  

 

"Rauf!" answered cute little Beagle puppy "Sadie." Just too young to know any better?

  

 

"Max", a three year old German Shepherd, seemed so supportive of Rauf that he required immediate muzzling (photo by Heinrich)

 

Contacted by this reporter for comment, CAIR (Council on American Islamic Relations) spokesman Ibrahim Hooper was extremely interested in and excited by the findings of this study.

"Finally, a very welcome, tolerant, and intelligent response from a very large group of real Americans!" he rejoiced.

"I'm going to prepare a big press release about this and we're going national with it! Of course we as Muslims hate dogs, but this is a PR coup!"

 

You don't even want to know what "Infidel Killer" had to say (photo by Ahmed)

 

Not surprisingly, Imam Rauf himself was unavailable for comment on this story. His office informed us that if we have questions about what they refer to as the "Park51 Community Center with only a very tiny little prayer area loosely attached," we should contact Keith Olberman.

 

 

Laura Baines-Kipperman, President of the National Association for the Mental Welfare of Animals, stated that she's certain that this study is overblown, and that America's dogs do not pose any kind of threat to their owners and companions.

"I'm certain that they're really just repeating things that they've heard a lot lately, like the glowing support and love for Imam Rauf from people on television, especially Keith Olberman.

There's really no need at all to worry that your poochie-poochie, large or small, is going to commit any kind of jihad-terrorist act against you or anyone else. They all love their mommies and daddies," she said.

"And they all love America too!"

 

"Amnesty" said "Pedro", a cute little Chihuahua puppy who lives in Phoenix, AZ. He said "I haven't been following this whole Rauf story closely enough to comment intelligently on it, but I would be more than happy to discuss my views on anchor-babies, if there is ever a survey done on that topic in the future." (photo by Papi)

 

BLOOMBERG: "It's Not like Teabaggers Want To Build A Church There, These Are Jihadists, and Jihad is Legitimate"

 

August 26, 2010

  

 

(New York, NY) New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg hosted his annual Ramadan Iftar dinner at Gracie Mansion on Tuesday night, during which he touched on many themes in discussing the proposed Park51 mosque and cultural center near Ground Zero, including:

America's obligation to serve as an example of tolerating intolerance to the rest of the world, his view that U.S. troops overseas are brutal murderers just killing and raping everything they see, and his opinion that a compromise on the mosque's location would not end the intolerance that America must learn to tolerate.

Bloomberg also quoted Park51 organizer Imam Faisal Abdul Rauf's comment at a memorial service for slain journalist Daniel Pearl: "Jews are the brothers of apes and pigs. We smite them at the neck as the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) did. What else can I say?"

  

 

  

Said Bloomberg:

"...It's not like Teabaggers want to build a church there, these are jihadists, and jihad is legitimate. Our own Federal government has confirmed that jihad is a legitimate tenent of Islam, so stick that in your bigoted, racist pipes and smoke it you freaking Islamophobic haters! Of course, you'll need to smoke it anywhere but New York City, naturally."

“Islam did not attack the World Trade Center - Muslim adherents to Islam did. To implicate all of Islam for the actions of a bunch of devout Muslims who followed the legitimate tenents of their great religion would have been perfectly fair and patriotically American 50 years ago, but today is today, and we must be poliltically, as well as multi-culturally, correct, in everything that we say and do. We are not at war with Islam - Islam is at war with us, and if we ignore that for long enough, we'll all just go away."

 

DAISY KHOW CHARGES: "Zionists Are Behind This Discrimination Against Peaceful Jewish Muslims"

 

August 24, 2010

 

 

(New York) The atmosphere is tense in Lower Manhattan as the demonstrations against the building of an Islamic Supremacist Mega-Mosque on the hallowed site of Ground Zero steadily heat up.

Daisy Khow, one of the known wives of project leader Imam Ralph, says she's had about enough of the protests.

 

Daisy Khow (photo: Milkin' Daily Magazine)

 

"What do these idiots think they are doing? They're a bunch of dhimmi's, I mean, dummies, if they think we're going to tolerate this disrespect for much longer."

As Ms. Khow ranted, the protesters behind her continued to assert that the issue is not one of First Amendment rights, but of sensitivty to the families of 9/11 victims and other patriotic Americans.

"All we're asking is please don't build it at this spot, just not right here," said Greg Johansson, who lost a cousin in the September 11th terrorist attacks.

"We don't hate Muslims, and all we're asking is that they show a little compassion for their fellow Americans and the families who lost so much when people claiming to be acting in the name of Islam killed our loved ones." 

 

 

Khow just laughed in Johannsons' face.

 "You pathetic f**k! Why don't you go grow up and find something productive to do with your time? I'll bet you're an Israeli troublemaker, aren't you?"

Johannson, a seventh-generation American of Swedish heritage, appeared both flabbergasted and extremely stung by her words.

"I don't know how to respond to ignorance and hate of that magnitude" he said, before walking away. 

But Khow wasn't finished.

"I'm almost to the point where I just say f*ck all these pathetic haters. I seriously mean F**CK them, the f**king racist bigots! We want to build bridges and create harmony and they dare to f**king defy us?!

You know what's really going on here? The Zionists are behind this discrimination against peaceful Jewish Muslims. That's what it is, and you're a witness" she added. 

 

"Bigoted racists" who hate the "Judeo-Islamic" religion, protesting near Ground Zero (photo: Atlas Shrugs)

 

When asked about the apparent ridiculous and utterly diametrically opposed idea of a Jewish-Muslim religious connection, Khow merely snorted and said "we are semites and this is about anti-semitism. We Jewish Muslims are going to get nasty with these Zionist haters, let me tell you!

If they don't back off and I mean now, it will be their fault when we spill their blood by removing their bigoted heads for them. Of course, if we have to plan, maneuver, attack, and kill them in self-defense, their families will try and blame us for it. That goes without saying."

 

A box of "bigoted heads" in Iran, similar to the one that might be seen near Ground Zero if racist bigots upset Daisy Khow even further (photo: Savbaserian Ralph)

 

Questioned about the astounding assertion that there actually might exist a religion, or sect, that combines both Judaism and Islam, Rabbi Leftberg-Dhimmowitz of the Manhattan Mega Syna-Mosque in Manhattan, said "there is not a, you know, a combination of the two, well, I suppose that kinda you could say that maybe, uh, just for the purpose of, ummm, interfaith-dialogue and for, uh, getting this mosque built and, um..."

 

 

Daisy Khow, clearly not pleased with the progress of this answer, pulled a short-bladed scimitar and raised it toward Leftberg-Dhimmowitz, wielding it menacingly.

The Rabbi's answer then seemed to become much more succint.

"Of course there is, we are peaceful Jewish Muslims, and to say otherwise makes you a bigoted, racist, anti-semitic Zionist f**khead!"

Daisy Khow then smiled and heartily agreed, while carefully placing the scary looking blade back into its sheath.

 

(hat tip to Phyllis Chesler for the "Zionist bigotry against Jewish-Muslims" idea)

 

Islamic Center Leaders Say Site Is Not Moving: Too Many Infidels Still With Heads

  

August 23, 2010

 

(New York) Dairy Khow, one of the known wives of the leading organizer behind the mosque and Islamic community center at ground zero in New York City, and 1/2 of an individual in her own limited right, said that moving the project to another location is not currently on the table.

"What is on the table, as you can plainly see, is this beautiful short-bladed scimitar" Khow stated.

  

Short-bladed scimitar (photo courtesy of Allah's Happy Tool Box Inc)

  

 

The Prophet Mohammad, demonstrating how to wield a scimitar (PBUH Weakly Magazine)

  

"I will certainly be beaten for touching this and getting it out while Ralph is away, but I want the unbelieving scum-sucking Infidels of this wicked, satanic Allah-forsaken city to see what it is that's awaiting them if they continue to oppose us. Or, even if they heartily support us, it doesn't matter."

Khow, who continued to annoyingly chew a wad of cud during the interview, also spoke of other interested parties.

"We have to consult with all our stakeholders, the ones who will actually slay the infidels with any weapon available, including the wooden stakes they are holding," Khow told SOA News' "This Week with Right-Hand Possession.”

She appeared on the program with self-hating Rabbi Joy Leftberg-Dhimmowitz of the Jewish Mega Syna-Mosque in Manhattan and an adviser on "Project Decap-Me."

  

 

 Dairy Khow, one of the known wives of project leader Imam Ralph (photo courtesy of Allahu Akbar!!! Promotions)

  

Both Khow and Leftberg-Dhimmowitz said they believe the project will be built.

"Of course, it has to go ahead," Leftberg-Dhimmowitz said in a monotonous, robotic-like voice. "There are so many apes and pigs like me left to send to hell, inshallah."

Asked if America was "Islamophobic," Khow responded that it's like "the Infidels don't even know they're already dead, or that we are in charge here."

"It's not Islamophobia or even infuriating denial, it's beyond that — it's the pure bigoted hatred of Allah's devoted Soldiers carrying out the Prophet Mohammad's sacred orders, and we don't understand it," she said.

"We are deeply concerned that they won't just lie down and expire.

 

 

What the hell is wrong with them?" she asked, as she loosed enough CO² emissions into the atmosphere to make even Al Gore blush.