ER'sB !

MANIC DEPRESSIVE AFGHAN PRESIDENT KARZAI CONFIRMS HE'S LYING AND DOUBLE DEALING AGAIN, AND DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT WHO KNOWS HE'S OFF HIS MEDS

 

 

 

 

October 12, 2010

 

(KABUL) Attempting to make it look somewhat like he's advancing his nation's peace progress with insurgents while boldly stringing the United States along for as long as possible, all in order to save his own neck whilst making his corupt family ever richer, Afghan President Hamid Karzai said unofficial negotiations with the Taliban have been taking place and hopes the formation of a peace council will further those efforts.

 

 

He made his statements at the same time that he was vacuuming the press room, balancing his personal budget, washing the windows, fixing an electrical outlet, planning a meeting, programming his TIVO, doing a crossword, dictating his memoirs, and doing push ups.

 

"You see I'm lying, and I'm lying, and I'm all powerful. I can fly. I'm off my meds and I don't give a shit that you know. Now, pay me, pay me, pay me, or kiss your fuel trucks at the border bye bye, okay? Why are you all looking at me like that? Is something wrong?" said Karzai (photo courtesy of Allahu Akbar!!! Media)

 

"We have been talking to the Taliban as countryman to countryman, talk in that manner. Of course you all know it's bullshit. I can walk through walls, want to see? Actually I don't feel like it right now you goddamned sonofabitch traitors!!! Did you see that picture of cigar guy from Ryder Cup? Wasn't that hilarious? We are Moslems here, the best of peoples. You have no choice but to deal with me. I can swim and breathe under water. So what I'm double dealing with America and the Taliban, I will live forever," Karzai told ER'sB.

 

 

"It's not like I have a regular official contact with the Taliban with a fixed address, but rather unofficial personal contacts have been going on for quite some time. What you don't know is that I tell them one thing and the U.S. government something else. I once wrestled a bear, and right now you really have to pay me, or something bad might happen again with your fuel trucks, infidels.

I love everybody in the world!" the Afghan President shouted, before turning and running face first into a concrete wall, knocking himself out.

 

 

ANOTHER AMISH TERROR ATTACK PARALYZES LANCASTER

 

 



 

October 11, 2010 

 

LANCASTER, Pennsylvania — The streets of Pennsylvania's "Amish Town" were mostly quiet Sunday as police stepped up patrols to prevent more attempted violence after twin buggy attacks at a Mennonite school sparked angry mobs of bearded youths to rampage with pitchforks like it was 1699 through this picturesque central Pennsylvania city.

Three people were "shot" at and hundreds frightened in the horse-drawn onslaught Saturday evening at the Lancaster Mennonite High School on Lincoln Highway where a bake sale was in progress. At least two plain black cars were torched by mobs who also fired flintlock rifles into the air, once.

A barn was also was set on fire Friday on a major road. 

 

 

 

Lancaster is 95 percent Amish, and the majority belong to the "Old Order," a very conservative and fundamental form of the religion. Christian Anabaptists (Mennonites), have been the sworn enemies of this sect of the Amish since electricity was discovered some two centuries ago.

The very limited "English (modern)" ways of the Mennonites, such as the use of automobiles and telephones (rotary-dial only), are rejected by the Amish, and make the so-called "plain" folks the frequent targets of militants.

 

Terror personified: Hezekiah Schwarzengruber and Ezekiel Knepp, the two most feared Amish militant leaders, seen planning their next strike (photo courtesy of Dutch Country Hex-A-Breakin' Loose Promotions)

  

A clop-by shooting attempt in June at the same school again failed to hurt anyone (black powder fouled the 300-year old blunderbuss barrels), and elderly crossing guards on foot easily chased down the Amish militants involved before the attackers could even get their next buck and ball loads out of their leather powder cases. That attack infuriated many Lancastrian Mennonites, who saw it as an unjustified attempted assault on peaceful students.

 

 

After Saturday's attack, condemnations for the outraged Mennonite protests came from across the Amish world, and even included a stern statement from President Obama, who was worshiping at the Washington, D.C. Islamic Center at the time. The President said that the "unwarranted backlash against those of the peaceful Amish religion will not be tolerated. Amishophobia must be stamped out at all costs, inshallah."

The President also warned voters again not to dare let him down in November. 

 

"Don't you dare, and I mean it, America" said Obama (PUI)

 

"I say here now onest, we the Amish remain committed to defending ourselves from these Anabaptist English devils and telephone blasphemers, and we shall not piffle nor put it by until the hated Mennonites are all" stated Amish terror-chief Hezekiah Schwarzengruber at a hastily convened press conference.

 

 

Two old Mennonite ladies in the crowd were shouted down as "racists & bigots" when they expressed their deep sadness at having had family members targeted in the Amish attacks. They were quickly escorted out while being loudly rebuked by the police for being "bitter old Bible-clinging Amishophobes and haters."

 

 

  

OPEN LETTER FROM FAIZ KHAN, IMAM RALPH's 911 "TROOFER" PARTNER

 

 

 

 

"Troof is my middle name. Ok, actually it's Muhammad, but Muhammad means troof in Arabic!! Would I lie??" (photo courtesy of CAIR)

 

  

by Faiz Khan, S.o.A./M.D.

Look America, you have to believe me that 9/11 was an inside job! It had to be the U.S. government because otherwise it just doesn't make sense. Take it from me, I'm a doctor, and I know what I'm talking about. Al Qaeda had NOTHING to do with 9/11. They didn't!

I'll say it again, they didn't!! I am telling the troof!!

  

  

Point out to me one single terrorist act that has been proven, absolutely, to have been committed by a Muslim! You can't! There are no Muslim terrorists, I mean it! Every so-called "act of terror" has been committed by the U.S. government to make it LOOK like innocent Muslims did it.

Honest to Allah, I am not kidding!

  

 

FOX News did a real hack job on my reputation Monday night, and I am going to sue them for every penny they have! How DARE they question my troof! If I wasn't a highly-paid, highly-regarded doctor, I'd be waiting in the parking garage for that O'Reilly!

I'd give him a little anatomy lesson, if you know what I mean!

Listen, I am a Muslim, and I was raised to believe that the rest of the world is inferior to Muslims, and I believe it. Just ask me or Ralph if you don't believe it!

We are better, and so you have no argument against me when I speak the troof!

 

 

 

 

I am telling you for the last time, those planes were not flown by Muslims, so there!

I don't think any more evidence is necessary, I've just given you all there is. Any more doubting questions? Call my lawyer at CAIR.

 

Peace,

~Faiz Khan, S.o.A./M.D.

 

BLOOMBERG: "It's Not like Teabaggers Want To Build A Church There, These Are Jihadists, and Jihad is Legitimate"

 

August 26, 2010

  

 

(New York, NY) New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg hosted his annual Ramadan Iftar dinner at Gracie Mansion on Tuesday night, during which he touched on many themes in discussing the proposed Park51 mosque and cultural center near Ground Zero, including:

America's obligation to serve as an example of tolerating intolerance to the rest of the world, his view that U.S. troops overseas are brutal murderers just killing and raping everything they see, and his opinion that a compromise on the mosque's location would not end the intolerance that America must learn to tolerate.

Bloomberg also quoted Park51 organizer Imam Faisal Abdul Rauf's comment at a memorial service for slain journalist Daniel Pearl: "Jews are the brothers of apes and pigs. We smite them at the neck as the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) did. What else can I say?"

  

 

  

Said Bloomberg:

"...It's not like Teabaggers want to build a church there, these are jihadists, and jihad is legitimate. Our own Federal government has confirmed that jihad is a legitimate tenent of Islam, so stick that in your bigoted, racist pipes and smoke it you freaking Islamophobic haters! Of course, you'll need to smoke it anywhere but New York City, naturally."

“Islam did not attack the World Trade Center - Muslim adherents to Islam did. To implicate all of Islam for the actions of a bunch of devout Muslims who followed the legitimate tenents of their great religion would have been perfectly fair and patriotically American 50 years ago, but today is today, and we must be poliltically, as well as multi-culturally, correct, in everything that we say and do. We are not at war with Islam - Islam is at war with us, and if we ignore that for long enough, we'll all just go away."

 

LOCKERBIE BOMBER COULD LIVE UNTIL 1438, say Moslem doctors, British Lord Hee Hee

  

Last updated at 12:59 PM on 20th August 1431 AH

  

The Lockerbie bomber could die as recently as 587 years ago, it has been claimed by devoutly religious Islamic medical experts and U.K. Immigration/Special Affairs Minister Sir Lord Charles Monteforte-Stanley Hee Hee, who made the following statement on behalf of the government:

"If my calculations are correct, 578 years from now, Ali Al Megrahi will be released from prison by the Scottish government with the tacit approval of Whitehall, after being given just three months to live. The Libyans will celebrate the 577th anniversary of the 637-year-old’s release 577 years from today, and the reaction in the West will still be negative, but manageable.

 I say old boy, this Asian calender can be a righ handy thing indeed!" he added.

A reporter then asked why he was using the "Asian" (British euphemism for Muslim) calendar?

"In order to not offend anyone! Plus we have to be concerned about the concerns of our energy partners. Plus, we don't want to get blown up, do we?!"

  

Megrahi is anxiously looking forward to his release in little more than half a millenia (AFP/Getty Images)

  

Lord Hee Hee then haughtily continued with his declaration:

"Now where was I? Ahhh yes, here we are. In addition, after having spoken to Islamic medical sources in Tripoli, I have calculated that Mr. Megrahi could very well die painfully barely 100 years after the Black Death ravages Europe in the 14th Century, if that's any consolation to you, but I don't expect that it will be considering how uptight everyone seems to be about this whole, shall we say, sordid affair?"

He then turned on his heel and, with his walking cane by his side, strolled quickly back into the busy corridors of Whitehall.

 

 

 

 

 

"I say old boy" said Lord Hee Hee, acting as Special Affairs Minister for the U.K. (photo courtesy of Prince Albert in a Can-Can)

 

OBAMA'S LABOR SECRETARY REACHES OUT TO "LONELY OR DEPRESSED" YOUNG MUSLIM MALES WHO "BELIEVE VERY STRONGLY"

 

June 24, 2010

(Washington) Hot on the heels of the controversial program launched by the Labor Department to help ensure that illegal aliens in the United States are paid fairly, Labor Secretary Hilda Solis announced today a follow up program that will work to assist another beleaguered group of U.S. residents: lonely or depressed young Muslim males who "believe very strongly."

 

Hilda Solis of the U.S. Dept. of Labor (file)

 

"Every strongly believing young Muslim male living in America, whether here legally or not, has the right to have company and to be happy" said Solis in a new video that will debut tomorrow on the Department's "We Can Help" website.

She cited the case of Faisal Shahzad, the Connecticut man who pleaded guilty ten times over to attempting to set off a car bomb in Times Square on May 1st, and explained how loneliness and financial difficulties had been at the root of all his troubles.

 

Foreclosed upon American citizen Faisal Shahzad (Allahu Akbar Media)

 

"If only Mr. Shahzad, an American citizen from Connecticut, had had a friend, or if only he hadn't been foreclosed upon, he wouldn't have gone a little crazy the way he did. We want to help make sure that other lonely or depressed young Muslim males who believe strongly get the assistance they need, even if it's just a shoulder to cry on" said Solis.

Asked if she felt that Shahzad's confession of being a Muslim "soldier" and "Islamic jihadist" had anything to do with the failed attack, Solis appeared to "go blank" for a moment, but then stated "No, of course not. Jihad is a legitimate tenant of Islam, it is a holy struggle and it is improper to use that term when describing random attacks and man-made disasters by lone-wolves or overseas contingency operations."

Further asked what the Department means by "strongly believing" Muslim males, she replied "those whose beliefs in...things...things that are very important to them are...are very strong."

 

Times Square, where Connecticut resident Faisal Shahzad almost went "a little crazy" due to loneliness and foreclosure (PUI)

 

Questioned about whether or not she believes that it's at least possible that Islam is what Shahzad and many other young Muslims believe in so strongly, and act violently as a result of, she sighed heavily and replied "Islam is a religion of peace™ & tolerance. It is one of the three great Abrahamic Faiths. We of course don't believe that Islam is in any way a factor, in anything, except for peaceful & tolerant...things."

 

What follows is a transcript of Solis' new PSA:

"You work hard, or maybe in your culture there is no tradition of working at all, but either way, you have the right to have company and to be happy. I'm U.S. Secretary of Labor Hilda Solis, and it's a serious problem when young Muslim males who believe strongly are not getting the attention they deserve, or the happiness that they need. Remember, every strongly believing young Muslim male in America, whether documented or not, has the right to have company, and the right to be happy. So, call us -- it is free and confidential -- at 1-800-555-1212. We can help, before things go a little...crazy...in your life."

MUSLIMS ARE OUTRAGED OVER...WELL, WHATEVER IT SEEMS TO BE THAT JUST HAPPENS TO "WORK" BEST FOR MUSLIMS TO BE OUTRAGED OVER TODAY

(Special International Photo Report)

June 1, 2010

Outraged Muslims burn tires in anger over..."whatever" the latest outrage is (courtesy of Al bin an-Salaami)

 

In France, a crowd of outraged Muslims chant "Death to Israel"... just to "pass the time" (Courtesy of Mahmoud DuFour).

 

Bored to frustration and tears by all that "Inshallah Fatalism," Muslims take to the streets in outrage over someone, somewhere, criticizing them for something, or other (courtesy of DhanFederOfIsmal Media)

 

Young muslimahs outraged that people protest over them protesting when some people protest that women are treated like chattel in Islam (courtesy of Kin-Khan)

 

In Iran, a Muslim crowd is outraged.  What? You want me to explain why?? YOU pick a reason -- any reason is as good as any other for Chrissake! (courtesy of Al-Khillyhah TV)

 

Oddly, no Muslims were outraged when a young Muslim girl was brutally murdered, for "honor," by members of her own family (courtesy of Ya Ghottha bin-Kiddhin Meh Newscorp)

 

In Iran, a Muslim woman is being prepared to be stoned to death for adultery, while her family is in Tehran for a protest against Israel building some houses in Jerusalem  -- Israel's capitol city. Again, it is odd that there was no Muslim outrage stemming from this Muslim outrage (courtesy Mohammed Keyvanfar Keyvanfar)