ER'sB !

ANOTHER AMISH TERROR ATTACK PARALYZES LANCASTER

 

 



 

October 11, 2010 

 

LANCASTER, Pennsylvania — The streets of Pennsylvania's "Amish Town" were mostly quiet Sunday as police stepped up patrols to prevent more attempted violence after twin buggy attacks at a Mennonite school sparked angry mobs of bearded youths to rampage with pitchforks like it was 1699 through this picturesque central Pennsylvania city.

Three people were "shot" at and hundreds frightened in the horse-drawn onslaught Saturday evening at the Lancaster Mennonite High School on Lincoln Highway where a bake sale was in progress. At least two plain black cars were torched by mobs who also fired flintlock rifles into the air, once.

A barn was also was set on fire Friday on a major road. 

 

 

 

Lancaster is 95 percent Amish, and the majority belong to the "Old Order," a very conservative and fundamental form of the religion. Christian Anabaptists (Mennonites), have been the sworn enemies of this sect of the Amish since electricity was discovered some two centuries ago.

The very limited "English (modern)" ways of the Mennonites, such as the use of automobiles and telephones (rotary-dial only), are rejected by the Amish, and make the so-called "plain" folks the frequent targets of militants.

 

Terror personified: Hezekiah Schwarzengruber and Ezekiel Knepp, the two most feared Amish militant leaders, seen planning their next strike (photo courtesy of Dutch Country Hex-A-Breakin' Loose Promotions)

  

A clop-by shooting attempt in June at the same school again failed to hurt anyone (black powder fouled the 300-year old blunderbuss barrels), and elderly crossing guards on foot easily chased down the Amish militants involved before the attackers could even get their next buck and ball loads out of their leather powder cases. That attack infuriated many Lancastrian Mennonites, who saw it as an unjustified attempted assault on peaceful students.

 

 

After Saturday's attack, condemnations for the outraged Mennonite protests came from across the Amish world, and even included a stern statement from President Obama, who was worshiping at the Washington, D.C. Islamic Center at the time. The President said that the "unwarranted backlash against those of the peaceful Amish religion will not be tolerated. Amishophobia must be stamped out at all costs, inshallah."

The President also warned voters again not to dare let him down in November. 

 

"Don't you dare, and I mean it, America" said Obama (PUI)

 

"I say here now onest, we the Amish remain committed to defending ourselves from these Anabaptist English devils and telephone blasphemers, and we shall not piffle nor put it by until the hated Mennonites are all" stated Amish terror-chief Hezekiah Schwarzengruber at a hastily convened press conference.

 

 

Two old Mennonite ladies in the crowd were shouted down as "racists & bigots" when they expressed their deep sadness at having had family members targeted in the Amish attacks. They were quickly escorted out while being loudly rebuked by the police for being "bitter old Bible-clinging Amishophobes and haters."

 

 

  

Hallmark Introduces New "Playable Jew Card™" Series To Help Combat Anti-Semitism Against Muslims

  

  

  

  

September, 24, 2010

 

Hallmark Cards, in an attempt to help stamp out Islamophobia, will be introducing a new line of greetings called the Playable Jew Card™ series for Muslims.

 Roger Kitman, CEO of Hallmark, said he got the idea originally when he heard the phrase "Muslims playing the Jew card" on TV, although he admits that he has no idea what they were referring to specifically, except that it had something to do with the fight against anti-Muslim bigotry.

"That started the ball rolling. I thought, what a neat thing, what a neat idea it would be for Muslims to perhaps fight the anti-semitism against them by means of a Playable Jew Card™.

 It's got a great ring to it!" said Kitman.  

  

   

  

"So I gave the Playable Jew Card™ idea over to our product development team in the Dearborn, Michigan Division, and the Award-winning Creative Team came up with some really fantastic ideas for it.

I've never seen a team of young people so excited about a project before!"

Asked if the idea of a Playable Jew Card™ might actually be considered anti-Jewish by some, Kitman was dismissive. 

 

Several members of Hallmark's Award-winning Creative Team in the Dearborn, Michigan Division (photo by Abdul)  

 

"Muslims are the ones who are getting the brunt of racism, anti-semitism and that horrible Islampohobia these days, and the Jews, of all people, can understand, I'm sure, that we all need to do whatever we can to alleviate some of the burden on them in whatever way we can. If it's by something as innocuous as sending a Playable Jew Card™ to friends, relatives or even to Jewish colleagues or neighbors, then that's what they should be able to do."

With a selection of approximately a thousand different cards with various printed inspirational messages -- including a recording chip with up to three minutes of time for the sender to record a personalized greeting -- Hallmark hopes the effort will be a big success in the Islamic community.  

  

 

 

  

  

"There's really no need to worry about backlash from Jews these days," said Kitman with a laugh.

"As you know, the Muslims are the new Jews in the 21st century, and I got that directly from our Dearborn Division leader, Ahmed Khalifi-Mohammad. As a successful Muslim of Palestinian origin, he ought to know what he's talking about when it comes to Jews" he added. 

The Playable Jew Card™ will be available for sale in Hallmark stores on November 15th.  

 

  

ER'sB IS PROUD TO SAY:

 

DAISY KHOW CHARGES: "Zionists Are Behind This Discrimination Against Peaceful Jewish Muslims"

 

August 24, 2010

 

 

(New York) The atmosphere is tense in Lower Manhattan as the demonstrations against the building of an Islamic Supremacist Mega-Mosque on the hallowed site of Ground Zero steadily heat up.

Daisy Khow, one of the known wives of project leader Imam Ralph, says she's had about enough of the protests.

 

Daisy Khow (photo: Milkin' Daily Magazine)

 

"What do these idiots think they are doing? They're a bunch of dhimmi's, I mean, dummies, if they think we're going to tolerate this disrespect for much longer."

As Ms. Khow ranted, the protesters behind her continued to assert that the issue is not one of First Amendment rights, but of sensitivty to the families of 9/11 victims and other patriotic Americans.

"All we're asking is please don't build it at this spot, just not right here," said Greg Johansson, who lost a cousin in the September 11th terrorist attacks.

"We don't hate Muslims, and all we're asking is that they show a little compassion for their fellow Americans and the families who lost so much when people claiming to be acting in the name of Islam killed our loved ones." 

 

 

Khow just laughed in Johannsons' face.

 "You pathetic f**k! Why don't you go grow up and find something productive to do with your time? I'll bet you're an Israeli troublemaker, aren't you?"

Johannson, a seventh-generation American of Swedish heritage, appeared both flabbergasted and extremely stung by her words.

"I don't know how to respond to ignorance and hate of that magnitude" he said, before walking away. 

But Khow wasn't finished.

"I'm almost to the point where I just say f*ck all these pathetic haters. I seriously mean F**CK them, the f**king racist bigots! We want to build bridges and create harmony and they dare to f**king defy us?!

You know what's really going on here? The Zionists are behind this discrimination against peaceful Jewish Muslims. That's what it is, and you're a witness" she added. 

 

"Bigoted racists" who hate the "Judeo-Islamic" religion, protesting near Ground Zero (photo: Atlas Shrugs)

 

When asked about the apparent ridiculous and utterly diametrically opposed idea of a Jewish-Muslim religious connection, Khow merely snorted and said "we are semites and this is about anti-semitism. We Jewish Muslims are going to get nasty with these Zionist haters, let me tell you!

If they don't back off and I mean now, it will be their fault when we spill their blood by removing their bigoted heads for them. Of course, if we have to plan, maneuver, attack, and kill them in self-defense, their families will try and blame us for it. That goes without saying."

 

A box of "bigoted heads" in Iran, similar to the one that might be seen near Ground Zero if racist bigots upset Daisy Khow even further (photo: Savbaserian Ralph)

 

Questioned about the astounding assertion that there actually might exist a religion, or sect, that combines both Judaism and Islam, Rabbi Leftberg-Dhimmowitz of the Manhattan Mega Syna-Mosque in Manhattan, said "there is not a, you know, a combination of the two, well, I suppose that kinda you could say that maybe, uh, just for the purpose of, ummm, interfaith-dialogue and for, uh, getting this mosque built and, um..."

 

 

Daisy Khow, clearly not pleased with the progress of this answer, pulled a short-bladed scimitar and raised it toward Leftberg-Dhimmowitz, wielding it menacingly.

The Rabbi's answer then seemed to become much more succint.

"Of course there is, we are peaceful Jewish Muslims, and to say otherwise makes you a bigoted, racist, anti-semitic Zionist f**khead!"

Daisy Khow then smiled and heartily agreed, while carefully placing the scary looking blade back into its sheath.

 

(hat tip to Phyllis Chesler for the "Zionist bigotry against Jewish-Muslims" idea)

 

NEW ON BOOKSHELVES: "The Maureen Dowd Guide To Flushing That Ignorant 9/11 Trauma Out Of Your System!"

  

August 23, 2010

  

 

"I flushed that 9/11 trauma out of my system by 9/12, and bigoted Americans can flush theirs too!" says Maureen Dowd (photo courtesy of Tango Whiskey Alpha Tango Publishing)

 

(Washington) Maureen Dowd, columnist for the New York Times and bestselling author, hopes to add another big success to her resume with her newly published self-help guide entitled The Maureen Dowd Guide To Flushing That Ignorant 9/11 Trauma Out Of Your System!

Dowd, looking not a day older than her 78 years, said the idea came to her recently, when protests by Americans against a Triumphal Mega-Mosque on the hallowed site of Ground Zero in New York City "really pissed me off."

"The Americans in this country are apparently having some kind of nervous breakdown over the memory of September 11, 2001, and it's just pathetic" said Dowd.

 

"It's yesterdays news" said author Maureen Dowd of the 9/11 Islamic terror attacks (photo courtesy of CNN)

 

"I very quickly threw this guide together, like I do with most of my writings, and my message for Americans is to get the hell over it and stop whining about a bunch of dead office workers already! It's yesterday's news! It could just as easily have been a fire started by a coffee maker, or something."

Dowd also reaffirmed the strong belief she has in one of her close Muslim friends, a man she identifies only as "Ibrahim."

"Ibrahim is a very important man in the Muslim community, a man who is known for his honesty, and he told me in no uncertain terms that Muslims and Islam had absolutely nothing to do with 9/11, and that Americans are nothing but racist, Islamophobic bigots if 9/11 still bugs them, and I agree.

 

"boy, he is so right..."

 

When president Obama recently came out in favor of the Ground Zero center, I remember saying out loud, 'boy, he is so right', and everyone else is so wrong.

Just look at how Americans have reacted to the plan for this wonderful, healing, bridge-building facility at ground zero. They're sick, and I'm here to help with my new book, available today at fine bookstores everywhere!" she giggled.

 

 

"Americans are nothing but racist, Islamophobic bigots if 9/11 still bugs them" said Dowd as she shook her head disapprovingly (photo courtesy of CNN)

 

"It could just as easily have been a fire started by a coffee maker" said Dowd (photo courtesy New York Port Authority)

 

Although she refused to give many details of the advice for flushing the trauma that she recommends in her book, Dowd did say that one of the best ideas she's heard is for racist Americans to atone for their grevious offenses to Muslims by giving generously of their money and their time, especially to the Cordoba Triumphal Mega-Mosque Initiative. 

"I don't understand what's going on with the American people these days, it could be mass-hysteria fueled by Republicans who just want to kill all Muslims, but like I told my friend Ibrahim, I flushed that 9/11 trauma out of my system by 9/12, and bigoted Americans can flush theirs too!

Inshallah! Ibrahim immediately wailed!" Dowd remembered.

Inshallah, indeed?

 

Islamic Center Leaders Say Site Is Not Moving: Too Many Infidels Still With Heads

  

August 23, 2010

 

(New York) Dairy Khow, one of the known wives of the leading organizer behind the mosque and Islamic community center at ground zero in New York City, and 1/2 of an individual in her own limited right, said that moving the project to another location is not currently on the table.

"What is on the table, as you can plainly see, is this beautiful short-bladed scimitar" Khow stated.

  

Short-bladed scimitar (photo courtesy of Allah's Happy Tool Box Inc)

  

 

The Prophet Mohammad, demonstrating how to wield a scimitar (PBUH Weakly Magazine)

  

"I will certainly be beaten for touching this and getting it out while Ralph is away, but I want the unbelieving scum-sucking Infidels of this wicked, satanic Allah-forsaken city to see what it is that's awaiting them if they continue to oppose us. Or, even if they heartily support us, it doesn't matter."

Khow, who continued to annoyingly chew a wad of cud during the interview, also spoke of other interested parties.

"We have to consult with all our stakeholders, the ones who will actually slay the infidels with any weapon available, including the wooden stakes they are holding," Khow told SOA News' "This Week with Right-Hand Possession.”

She appeared on the program with self-hating Rabbi Joy Leftberg-Dhimmowitz of the Jewish Mega Syna-Mosque in Manhattan and an adviser on "Project Decap-Me."

  

 

 Dairy Khow, one of the known wives of project leader Imam Ralph (photo courtesy of Allahu Akbar!!! Promotions)

  

Both Khow and Leftberg-Dhimmowitz said they believe the project will be built.

"Of course, it has to go ahead," Leftberg-Dhimmowitz said in a monotonous, robotic-like voice. "There are so many apes and pigs like me left to send to hell, inshallah."

Asked if America was "Islamophobic," Khow responded that it's like "the Infidels don't even know they're already dead, or that we are in charge here."

"It's not Islamophobia or even infuriating denial, it's beyond that — it's the pure bigoted hatred of Allah's devoted Soldiers carrying out the Prophet Mohammad's sacred orders, and we don't understand it," she said.

"We are deeply concerned that they won't just lie down and expire.

 

 

What the hell is wrong with them?" she asked, as she loosed enough CO² emissions into the atmosphere to make even Al Gore blush.

 

FEATURE: "It doesn't really say that you bigoted Islamophobic jerk!"

"It doesn't really say that you bigoted Islamophobic jerk!" is a special feature on Eleanor Ruth's Blog!  We take verses from the Qur'an or narrations from various Hadith and allow our staff Muslimahs -- Jumanah, Dhabah, or "Hideous" Jamie -- to explain what those verses or narrations really mean.

Today's verse is from the Qur'an (Q 4:34)

"Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allâh has made one of them to excel the other. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allâh and to their husbands), and guard in the husband's absence what Allâh orders them to guard. As to those women on whose part you see ill­conduct, admonish them, refuse to share their beds, and beat them."

And today's Muslimah is Jumanah:

Yeah it's just like with my friends Ibrahim and Mahmoud. I consider them to be my protectors, especially lately. Like when this one little Jewish skank came up to me the other day all quiet and mouse-like and asked me if what I'd said about being "for it" was true? My "men" got right in her face and told her where she could stick her stupid Zionist question! Then the bitch got all upset when Mahmoud gave her a bloody nose! She actually had the nerve to call the cops on him, but the little whore got hers. We informed those cops that if they f**ked with us we'd start a riot on campus, so they ended up arresting her for "disorderly conduct!"

We laughed so hard!! Those stupid Jews, when will they ever learn that we Muslims are the ones who are really in charge?!

Jumanah, photographed recently at the MSA's annual "Muslims Rule So Cal!" family picnic (courtesy La Jolla Daily Musulman)

Yeah so anyway, Allah says very clearly that men are to protect and maintain women, so what's the big confusion? And before you point out that it says about husbands beating their wives if they feel like it, I'll have you know it doesn't really say that you bigoted Islamophobic jerk! Have you ever read Deuteronomy in the Bible? Have you seen all the violence in there? Huh? Explain that Mr. Fancy pants? You bigots and racists are always going on and on about all the open-ended violence in the Qur'an but do you ever look at the freaking Bible?

What's that you say? Stick to the Qur'an? Why don't you kiss my plentiful ass?! You want to end up like Miss Jew whore did?

You people at that racist ER'sB are just so unbelievable! That's it I quit. I can't take this abuse from you morons anymore. I try to be nice and informative and you treat me like a 2nd class citizen, just like that awful David Horowitz did. But I will have you know that it's YOU, Mr. Fancypants, who is the 2nd class citizen around here!

And be sure to tell that Eleanor bitch where to get off if she doesn't like it!

Oh look at the time! I'm late for the All U Can Eat brunch buffet over at Bayside. 

F*CK!

~Jumanah

DAILY FEATURE: "It doesn't really say that you bigoted Islamophobic jerk!" (June 5, 2010)

 

"It doesn't really say that you bigoted Islamophobic jerk!" is a daily feature, for a limited time, on Eleanor Ruth's Blog!  We take verses from the Qur'an or narrations from various Hadith and allow our staff Muslimahs -- Jumanah, Dhabah, or "Hideous" Jamie -- to explain what those verses or narrations really mean.

Today's verse if from the Qu'ran (Q: 9:5):

"Fight and slay the pagans [Christians] wherever ye find them and seize them, confine them, and lie in wait for them in every place of ambush"

^{And today's Muslimah is "Hideous" Jamie:}

 

^{"Hideous" Jamie, seen here thankfully covering her "hideousness" -- by special request from Allah (courtesy of Al-Khillyah Media)}

 

^{Hi Everybody! I'm so glad that ER'sB is doing this because it gives me a chance too get out of my cell for a little while! Not being able too speak publicly so that anybody can hear my voice is making me go all "jihad" inside 'cause I really like too talk, ya know! Hey, did I tell you about my son making a pipe bomb and blowing a bunch of little unbeliever bunnies all too hell? I did? Oh, sorry. But ya know, I'm just SO proud of that little "marter in the making!" Someday he'll make his momma so proud by wiping out some real infidels, and then he can play with all them little naked girls in Heaven!}

^{Anyways, let's see, what's our verse today? OH, 9-5! My little boy's favorite! He used too get all excited, ya know, when I'd change his diapers and recite it too him! We'd make a little game of it. I even made up a sorta song and I'd sing it too him "We gonna fight all them Chris-ti-ans! Slay all them Chris-ti-ans!" He'd just giggle no end and then have a spitty up. It was SO cute! I told him he was havin' a "spitty up for Allah (S.A.W.)!"  And then I'd burp him and and in rhythm I'd go on with the song. It would go like "Wherever ye find them (burp) we gonna seize them (burp) and lie in wait...(burp) at every place...(burp)!"  Oh it was just so adorable! I miss those days, and it makes me sad too know I'll probably never see my son grow up. But thems are just the sacrifices we true Muslimahs have too make for Allah (S.A.W.) and our Profit (PBUH).}

^{(At this point, the ER'sB staff reporter interrupts and asks if the verse actually means to kill all the Christians or infidels?)}

^{Huh? Does it mean too kill them? No! It doesn't really say that you bigoted Islamophobic jerk! It's just a nice change time story I'd sing with my son! It only gets real serious like when some Kafir asshole disrespects our entire religion by going of and doing something truly evil like drawing pictures of the Profit Muhammad (PBUH)! If some disrespecter does that, THEN we'll kill. Yepper! Wouldn't ANY decent person kill for that?!  I mean, just like when I went to Ireland to join the...}

^{(At this point, "Hideous" Jamie's attorney stops her and whispers frantically in her ear)}

^{Well, my lawyer says this interview is over now. I mentioned "Ireland" and that's a touchy subject I guess! Oh well, its' not like I expect too ever get out of prison anyways! I'm probably gonna be sent up the river for Allah (S.A.W.), and if I have too then I just have too!}

^{(At this point, "Hideous" Jamie laughs uproariously, and it's a sound that the ER'sB staffer can only describe as "hideous, just like her face")}

^{--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------}

^{(Editorial Note: Our next installment will be posted on Monday, June 7th)}

 

DAILY FEATURE: "It doesn't really say that you bigoted Islamophobic jerk!" (June 1, 2010)

"It doesn't really say that you bigoted Islamophobic jerk!" is a daily feature, for a limited time, on Eleanor Ruth's Blog!  We take verses from the Qur'an or narrations from various Hadith and allow our staff Muslimahs -- Jumanah, Dhabah, or "Hideous" Jamie -- to explain what those verses or narrations really mean.

 

Todays narration is from Hadith Shahih Bukhari:

"Narrated Ibn' Abbas:

The Prophet said: "I was shown the Hell-fire and that the majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful." It was asked, "Do they disbelieve in Allah? (or are they ungrateful to Allah?)..." 

(Hadith 1:28)

And today's Muslima is Jumanah:

Alright, look, this going to get old really quick. I had to skip snack break between classes and hoof it all the way over here in this freaking heat! And DON'T you DARE start in with the cracks about the big woolen coat, the hijab and the "terrorist" neckerchief. Wearing all this heavy stuff is REQUIRED by my religion, got it?? Cripes!

Jumanah is fourth from  fifth from ...Somewhere in this UC class photo  (thanks to Faisal Abdul)

What's the damned thing say again? Let me see it! (hastily reads out loud) "Ok, The Prophet said: "I was shown the Hell-fire and that the majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful."

It doesn't really say what you think it says you bigoted Islamophobic jerk!! But I'll tell you, I'm not at all surprised that the Prophet (PBUH) saw that women were the majority of the people in Hell-fire! I mean, just look around this campus if you want to see a bunch of the damned! Do you have any idea how many nasty, skinny little Christian and Jewish bitches I've seen who are surely bound for Hell-fire? TONS, dude! Every single one of those skinny, pretty, little skanks! Those hideous little unbelieving whores (snorts), I won't even give them the time of day! They can have all their smart, handsome boyfriends, I don't care! None of those boys are Muslims anyway. I'm doing just fine with my friends Ibrahim and Mahmoud. And, unlike those pathetic..ally... HOT Kaffir boys, Ibrahim and Mahmoud are very devout, radical, fully-bearded, and they treat me just like a Muslim man should treat a Muslimah!

(At this point, Jumanah retrieves an ice pack from her over-sized pocket and presses it to her left cheek)

I accidentally walked into a stupid door, okay?? It's not like I just popped off a fricking cross or something, so stop staring at me!! Anyway, Ibrahim and Mahmoud are SO much better men, and not at all like those...gorgeous...unbeliever boys that I can't have -- uh, I mean, that I would NEVER, ever WANT to be anywhere NEAR!  What can those...hunks...do for those evil bitches anyway? Take them to dinner and a movie and then get them laid? Big freaking WHOOP! I get to go to Mosque, and sometimes I can even leave the dorm at night without a male escort!  And, I go to dinners like anyone else -- and movies too, well, mostly just dinners and lunches and snack breaks and like that, but I am very HAPPY in my life, because I don't have to worry about any of that westernized "freedom" crap like having to wear makeup, or perfume, or hanging out at the Mall with my friends or having fun or worrying about which Uncle in Pakistan will marry me! My mind is free of all that westernized BS! And unlike those Jew whores, I will never have to worry about getting laid until marriage!

Muhammad Alam Khan Mehsud, 88, the Pakistani uncle believed to be the most likely to want to marry Jumanah (thanks to Waleed)

Okay?!? Okay?!?!? And if you don't believe in the Prophet Muhammed (PBUH) and you don't believe that we need to get the Jews all together in Israel so we can just talk to them and if you don't believe that I am TRULY happy, then you can all just burn in Hell-fire right now for all I care!

I'm so damned horn hungry! I have to go!

Peace,

~Jumanah

 

DAILY FEATURE: "It doesn't really say that you bigoted Islamophobic jerk!" (May 30, 2010)

"It doesn't really say that you bigoted Islamophobic jerk!"is a new daily feature on Eleanor Ruth's Blog!  We take verses from the Qur'an or narrations from various Hadith and allow our staff Muslimahs -- Jumanah, Dhabah, or "Hideous" Jamie -- to explain what those verses or narrations really mean.

Today's verse is from the Qu'ran (Q: 2:106):

“Nothing of our revelation (even a single verse) do we abrogate or cause be forgotten, but we bring (in place) one better or the like thereof. Knowest thou not that Allah is Able to do all things?”

And today's Muslimah is Dhaba:

So what's the question?  Are you suggesting that Allah (la ilah illa' Allah) is contradicting Himself here?  He's not!  Are you suggesting that I am contradicting MYself?? Is this just another sleazy set up where you get me to say something definite and then tell everyone that I said it?  Is this going to be like when I translated that damned logo on the shirts for that sleazy reporter and explained that the girls were only trying to shake-off the hideous oppression of the city, and not necessarily setting up to launch a ground war or some kind of resistance fighting in one of the boroughs!?!  Sheesh! 

Anyway, I guess I'd better talk about the verse. It's just like if I were to say to you "In place of this old, crumpled $20 bill that I owe you, I will give you this nice, new $10 bill."

What's contradictory about that?  The point is, you really should not be questioning the fairness and logic of Allah (la ilah illa' Allah), because some things that only Allah (la ilah illa' Allah) knows, only Allah (la ilah illa' Allah) knows, got it?

Well, I can see that you're really, really dense, so I'll break it down even further for you. Please try and keep up, if you can:

Allah (la ilah illa' Allah) says: "Nothing of our revelation (even a single verse) do we abrogate or cause to be forgotten..."

I'm certainly not going to forget that I gave you $10, believe me! Without a job, it would have been tough enough to give you even $5, but I will always be a generous person, Inshallah.

"...but we bring (in place) one better or the like thereof."

It's a brand new $10 bill !!  I even went to a lot of trouble to make sure that it was nice and crisp so that you would be pleased, but no, you are an ungrateful and bigoted Islamophobic jerk!!!

"Knowest thou not that Allah (la ilah illa' Allah) is Able to do all things?”

Well do you? I sure do, but I can see that you don't, so why am I wasting my time trying to explain perfect sense to some moronic Kafir?!

I'm outta here.

~Dhaba

DAILY FEATURE: "It doesn't really say that you bigoted Islamophobic jerk!" (May 29, 2010)

"It doesn't really say that you bigoted Islamophobic jerk!" is a new daily feature on Eleanor Ruth's Blog!  We take verses from the Qur'an or narrations from various Hadith and allow our staff Muslimahs -- Jumanah, Dhabah, or "Hideous" Jamie -- to explain what those verses or narrations really mean.

Today's verse is from the Qur'an (96: 1-5):

“Read (Prophet Muhammad) in the Name of your Lord who created the human from a (blood) clot. Read! Your Lord is the Most Generous, who taught by the pen, taught the human, what he did not know.”

And today's Muslimah is "Hideous" Jamie:

"Hideous" Jamie, seen here in casual dress prior to her arrest (CMN)

Ok, so like I told my son over and over again, Profit Muhammad (PBUH) could not read to good, so I told my boy he could tell his grandma to just "eff" of if she didn't like the fact that he won't be learning how too. I had him in this kick a** Irish Madrassa where he was doing real good, phoneticaly lerning the Holy Qur'an in Arabic. He should be able too recite the whole thing by the time he's 8!  I am just SO proud of him!  He told me on the phone that he made this pipe bomb and blew up the neighboring grade schools' rabbit cage, killing 16 bunny's!  He said those little kafir kids cried like the unbelieving little pu***es they are!

I'll tell ya, I am such a lucky Muslimah to have such a awesome son, even though I probably won't be seeing to much of him until he gets alot older.  With everything I taught him before, well, before you know what (haha) I'm sure that someday he'll make just great uses of those awesome skills he's picking up, Inshallah!

Anyways, they say they want me to stick too telling you what these verses is all about, so I guess I should talk about the "blood clot" thing, huh? Well Ok!!  See, everybody knows that if you could see the beginning of life right after it sorta gets going, it would look like a blood clot, so there (I seen it myself in one of my Nursing book's!) So what's wrong about that? Why do people laugh at that?

And Allah (SWT) IS most generus, and He taught the human's what they did not know. He taught them that sperm comes from the spine (true!) and that the moon sits in a big muddy puddle (also true!).  And if you believe anything other than those things, your just a bigoted Islamophobic jerk!

Well, I have to go now, their clearing out the community room and its almost time for cell count.

Peace,
~J.Jamie

DAILY FEATURE: "It doesn't really say that you bigoted Islamophobic jerk!"

"It doesn't really say that you bigoted Islamophobic jerk!" is a new daily feature on Eleanor Ruth's Blog!  We take verses from the Qur'an or narrations from various Hadith and allow our staff Muslimahs Jumanah, Dhabah or "Hideous Jamie" to explain what those verses or narrations really mean.

Today's narration is from Hadith Shahih Muslim:

“Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger as saying:

The last hour would not come unless the Muslims will fight against the Jews and the Muslims would kill them until the Jews would hide themselves behind a stone or a tree and a stone or a tree would say: Muslim, or the servant of Allah, there is a Jew behind me; come and kill him; but the tree Gharqad would not say, for it is the tree of the Jews” (Muslim: 41 6985)

And today's Muslimah is Jumanah:

Look, like, I'm already late for my lunch date with my friend Ibrahim and I'm really starving but I guess I'll answer this real quick, even though I just can't believe you're asking about it in the first place.  I mean, how dare you?!  You want me to put myself on a frigging cross for you or something??  Clearly, you idiot, this does not really say what it says!!  You know, I can't even count the number of times I've posted to different websites and forums about how racist and bigoted you people really are when you ask questions about Islam!  You all have some nerve and it makes me sick!  I mean, like, just read the damned thing and you can see how sniveling and stupid some people are when they, like, hide behind things and stuff when they're scared for their lives!  I'm sorry but I just don't have any sympathy for these people who would rather live instead of standing up and clearly showing themselves.  WHO do they think they are?  Why can't they all just gather in one place so we can talk to them about Islam's wonderful peace plan for them??

But of course they won't because they're stupid, bigoted Islamophobic jerks!!!!

And so are you!!

Peace,

~Jumanah