ER'sB !

CNN: RIVAL RALLIES IN NEW YORK WHERE 3 PEOPLE SHOW UP AGAINST MOSQUE, 14,000,000 APPEAR IN SUPPORT

   

  

September 11, 2010

  

 

 

  

 

(by Fareed Zakaria)

New York -- Hours after families remembered those accidentally killed nine years ago at ground zero, the nation's debate over a proposed peaceful, bridge-building Islamic center with only a miniscule little "mosquette" very loosely attached that may be built many, many, many blocks away, played out Saturday at opposing rallies.

 

An artists depiction of the gorgeous Community Center (CNN)

 

A "rally" against the loving and wonderful proposed center began first, as three random people wandering by were grabbed by Dutch Nazi political criminal Geert Wilders and ordered to listen to him speak. Two other speakers then reminded the three passersby, who were being held against their will by fascist thug and right wing radical Islamophobe Robert Spencer, that all Muslims should be deported immediately, and all mosques in America should be converted into cowboy bars.

I did not hear or see that personally, I was getting a manicure at the time, but my personal assistant and valet Abdul Muhammad told me about it.

 

The three people forcefully rounded up to protest the Islamic Center are out of view in this photo. The tens of thousands of others seen here were just everyday New York pedestrians, and were not in any way related to any protest against the Center (Atlas Shrugs)

 

Evidently, for racist, bigoted mosque opponents it was a sad, ill-advised, and almost non-existant attempt at a rally, as well as a pathetic failure for Islamophobes in America who espouse nothing but pure hatred against this country's peaceful Muslim sweethearts.

However, on the other side, more than 14,000,000 supporters of the Commnunity Center of Peace came out, and they all sang kumbaya in unison as Imam Rauf, that very model of moderate peace and tolerance, wept with joy.

Clearly, the rumored "80%" opposition to the Community Center of Sweet Dreams and Light is just some kind of xenophobic urban legend.

 

Although only a few protesters in support of the Islamic Center can be seen in this photo, trust us, there were 14,000,000 supporters there. Unfortunately, our still photographer left the wide angle lens for his camera at home (CNN)

 

So, America, it's clearly time to face the facts as we give them to you and just drop your ridiculous and unsupported opposition to to this wonderful, inspiring, and mandatory Cordoba House Community Center.

We can do this the easy way or the hard way, it's your choice. Imam Rauf firmly intends to build the bridge by which Americans will come to Islam, and we at CNN think it's high time you redneck ingrates prepare to cross it. 

 

 

ECONOMY TANKING: Obama Says He'll Probably Announce New Plans Next Week, Sometime, Maybe, When He Gets Back From His Mental Vacation

 

September 3, 2010

  

  

(Congressional Country Club, Bethesda) New employment figures released Friday are in the tank, the nation seems on the verge of revolution, but president Obama is playing it cool -- appearing relaxed in saddle golf shoes and smiling broadly for the media. 

The unemployment rate rose in August for the first time in four months as more people entered the job market looking for work and struggled to find openings. The rate rose from 9.5 percent to 9.6 percent. One Republican called the numbers "catastrophic." 

The president on Friday, from the 9th hole at Congressional Country Club near Washington, said the rise in the unemployment rate is "positive news" but "not nearly good enough." He plans to hold a press conference next week, sometime, maybe Friday, if it works out, or possibly the following Monday, if he's not too busy, to discuss a "broader" package of socialistic proposals. 

 

 

 

"Even though I can't physically be in Martha's Vineyard or Bar Harbor right now, surrounded by all my wealthy friends, my heart and my mind are very much with Valerie Jarret and George Soros, sipping piña coladas on a yacht, or just splashing lazily in the surf," mused the president.

"But back to that economy stuff, we are confident that we are moving in the right direction, which is as far Left as possible, and we want to keep whatever this thing is that is happening going so we can accelerate governmental job growth as much as possible" Obama said, flanked by caddies and several of his economic adviser-buddies, also looking cool in saddle golf shoes.

 

 

CNN's Africanized "Killer" Bees Tolerance Roadtrip Backfires Tragically

 

September 1, 2010

  

CNN has decided to take on the task of helping people learn about and be more tolerant to Africanized "Killer" bees.  One way to do that was send a journalist and a photographer on a roadtrip with two beekeepers who had planned to visit 30 hives in 30 states on some kind of "dare."  However, I don’t think CNN expected that the only hive they would end up visiting would have such a strong aversion to them stopping by for tea.

The "tolerance tour" is part of a series of "tolerance tours" CNN is promoting to try and bolster their horribly sagging ratings. The bee-tolerance roadtrip follows on the heels of the equally unsuccessful "Mosque-Tolerance" road trip that, incidentally, only served to spark a general jihad fatwa upon all "unbelieving" Americans.

  

Amateur beekeepers Ricky Cresswell and Drake Shatzer decided they would blog about their planned 30 hive visit to teach people that furious Africanized bee attacks aren't how they're portrayed in the media.

Unfortunately, they are exactly how they are portrayed in the media.

Just seconds from disaster. The hive of Africanized "Killer" bees in New Mexico visited by CNN's "Tolerance Tour" (photo courtesy of Faces of Death XXVII)

  

We’re trying to mollify the bigoted Killerbeeophobia that Americans seem to have and give them a three-dimensional experience of what Africanized bees are really like. – Ricky

CNN interviewed the duo in Atlanta and decided to go on the first leg of the journey with the two men.  The two beekeepers and the two guys from CNN all were convinced they’d see a lot of fear and prejudice against the bees from anyone within miles of a hive, and they were right. But true to their mission of tolerance, they ignored the impassioned warnings of locals and area natural resources officials.

We see this huge, massive hive in a tree and Ricky went right up to it to say hello to the bees. Sadly, I never got to tell Ricky how much I always appreciated his friendship. - Drake

The firemen and EMT's who were standing by could only watch in petrified horror as the bees, obviously misunderstanding the beekeeper's tolerant intentions, greeted him in the way that any reasonable, clear-thinking American would expect them to.

Beekeeper Ricky Cresswell (1949 - 2010)

  

CNN is currently in the process of filming their next tolerance-tour, the "30 Rabid Raccoons in 30 days" junket.

We would give you a project update, but for unknown reasons no one has heard from the crew or the varmint-whisperers involved for some days.

  

 

 

  

 

  

  

DAISY KHOW CHARGES: "Zionists Are Behind This Discrimination Against Peaceful Jewish Muslims"

 

August 24, 2010

 

 

(New York) The atmosphere is tense in Lower Manhattan as the demonstrations against the building of an Islamic Supremacist Mega-Mosque on the hallowed site of Ground Zero steadily heat up.

Daisy Khow, one of the known wives of project leader Imam Ralph, says she's had about enough of the protests.

 

Daisy Khow (photo: Milkin' Daily Magazine)

 

"What do these idiots think they are doing? They're a bunch of dhimmi's, I mean, dummies, if they think we're going to tolerate this disrespect for much longer."

As Ms. Khow ranted, the protesters behind her continued to assert that the issue is not one of First Amendment rights, but of sensitivty to the families of 9/11 victims and other patriotic Americans.

"All we're asking is please don't build it at this spot, just not right here," said Greg Johansson, who lost a cousin in the September 11th terrorist attacks.

"We don't hate Muslims, and all we're asking is that they show a little compassion for their fellow Americans and the families who lost so much when people claiming to be acting in the name of Islam killed our loved ones." 

 

 

Khow just laughed in Johannsons' face.

 "You pathetic f**k! Why don't you go grow up and find something productive to do with your time? I'll bet you're an Israeli troublemaker, aren't you?"

Johannson, a seventh-generation American of Swedish heritage, appeared both flabbergasted and extremely stung by her words.

"I don't know how to respond to ignorance and hate of that magnitude" he said, before walking away. 

But Khow wasn't finished.

"I'm almost to the point where I just say f*ck all these pathetic haters. I seriously mean F**CK them, the f**king racist bigots! We want to build bridges and create harmony and they dare to f**king defy us?!

You know what's really going on here? The Zionists are behind this discrimination against peaceful Jewish Muslims. That's what it is, and you're a witness" she added. 

 

"Bigoted racists" who hate the "Judeo-Islamic" religion, protesting near Ground Zero (photo: Atlas Shrugs)

 

When asked about the apparent ridiculous and utterly diametrically opposed idea of a Jewish-Muslim religious connection, Khow merely snorted and said "we are semites and this is about anti-semitism. We Jewish Muslims are going to get nasty with these Zionist haters, let me tell you!

If they don't back off and I mean now, it will be their fault when we spill their blood by removing their bigoted heads for them. Of course, if we have to plan, maneuver, attack, and kill them in self-defense, their families will try and blame us for it. That goes without saying."

 

A box of "bigoted heads" in Iran, similar to the one that might be seen near Ground Zero if racist bigots upset Daisy Khow even further (photo: Savbaserian Ralph)

 

Questioned about the astounding assertion that there actually might exist a religion, or sect, that combines both Judaism and Islam, Rabbi Leftberg-Dhimmowitz of the Manhattan Mega Syna-Mosque in Manhattan, said "there is not a, you know, a combination of the two, well, I suppose that kinda you could say that maybe, uh, just for the purpose of, ummm, interfaith-dialogue and for, uh, getting this mosque built and, um..."

 

 

Daisy Khow, clearly not pleased with the progress of this answer, pulled a short-bladed scimitar and raised it toward Leftberg-Dhimmowitz, wielding it menacingly.

The Rabbi's answer then seemed to become much more succint.

"Of course there is, we are peaceful Jewish Muslims, and to say otherwise makes you a bigoted, racist, anti-semitic Zionist f**khead!"

Daisy Khow then smiled and heartily agreed, while carefully placing the scary looking blade back into its sheath.

 

(hat tip to Phyllis Chesler for the "Zionist bigotry against Jewish-Muslims" idea)

 

NEW ON BOOKSHELVES: "The Maureen Dowd Guide To Flushing That Ignorant 9/11 Trauma Out Of Your System!"

  

August 23, 2010

  

 

"I flushed that 9/11 trauma out of my system by 9/12, and bigoted Americans can flush theirs too!" says Maureen Dowd (photo courtesy of Tango Whiskey Alpha Tango Publishing)

 

(Washington) Maureen Dowd, columnist for the New York Times and bestselling author, hopes to add another big success to her resume with her newly published self-help guide entitled The Maureen Dowd Guide To Flushing That Ignorant 9/11 Trauma Out Of Your System!

Dowd, looking not a day older than her 78 years, said the idea came to her recently, when protests by Americans against a Triumphal Mega-Mosque on the hallowed site of Ground Zero in New York City "really pissed me off."

"The Americans in this country are apparently having some kind of nervous breakdown over the memory of September 11, 2001, and it's just pathetic" said Dowd.

 

"It's yesterdays news" said author Maureen Dowd of the 9/11 Islamic terror attacks (photo courtesy of CNN)

 

"I very quickly threw this guide together, like I do with most of my writings, and my message for Americans is to get the hell over it and stop whining about a bunch of dead office workers already! It's yesterday's news! It could just as easily have been a fire started by a coffee maker, or something."

Dowd also reaffirmed the strong belief she has in one of her close Muslim friends, a man she identifies only as "Ibrahim."

"Ibrahim is a very important man in the Muslim community, a man who is known for his honesty, and he told me in no uncertain terms that Muslims and Islam had absolutely nothing to do with 9/11, and that Americans are nothing but racist, Islamophobic bigots if 9/11 still bugs them, and I agree.

 

"boy, he is so right..."

 

When president Obama recently came out in favor of the Ground Zero center, I remember saying out loud, 'boy, he is so right', and everyone else is so wrong.

Just look at how Americans have reacted to the plan for this wonderful, healing, bridge-building facility at ground zero. They're sick, and I'm here to help with my new book, available today at fine bookstores everywhere!" she giggled.

 

 

"Americans are nothing but racist, Islamophobic bigots if 9/11 still bugs them" said Dowd as she shook her head disapprovingly (photo courtesy of CNN)

 

"It could just as easily have been a fire started by a coffee maker" said Dowd (photo courtesy New York Port Authority)

 

Although she refused to give many details of the advice for flushing the trauma that she recommends in her book, Dowd did say that one of the best ideas she's heard is for racist Americans to atone for their grevious offenses to Muslims by giving generously of their money and their time, especially to the Cordoba Triumphal Mega-Mosque Initiative. 

"I don't understand what's going on with the American people these days, it could be mass-hysteria fueled by Republicans who just want to kill all Muslims, but like I told my friend Ibrahim, I flushed that 9/11 trauma out of my system by 9/12, and bigoted Americans can flush theirs too!

Inshallah! Ibrahim immediately wailed!" Dowd remembered.

Inshallah, indeed?

 

Islamic Center Leaders Say Site Is Not Moving: Too Many Infidels Still With Heads

  

August 23, 2010

 

(New York) Dairy Khow, one of the known wives of the leading organizer behind the mosque and Islamic community center at ground zero in New York City, and 1/2 of an individual in her own limited right, said that moving the project to another location is not currently on the table.

"What is on the table, as you can plainly see, is this beautiful short-bladed scimitar" Khow stated.

  

Short-bladed scimitar (photo courtesy of Allah's Happy Tool Box Inc)

  

 

The Prophet Mohammad, demonstrating how to wield a scimitar (PBUH Weakly Magazine)

  

"I will certainly be beaten for touching this and getting it out while Ralph is away, but I want the unbelieving scum-sucking Infidels of this wicked, satanic Allah-forsaken city to see what it is that's awaiting them if they continue to oppose us. Or, even if they heartily support us, it doesn't matter."

Khow, who continued to annoyingly chew a wad of cud during the interview, also spoke of other interested parties.

"We have to consult with all our stakeholders, the ones who will actually slay the infidels with any weapon available, including the wooden stakes they are holding," Khow told SOA News' "This Week with Right-Hand Possession.”

She appeared on the program with self-hating Rabbi Joy Leftberg-Dhimmowitz of the Jewish Mega Syna-Mosque in Manhattan and an adviser on "Project Decap-Me."

  

 

 Dairy Khow, one of the known wives of project leader Imam Ralph (photo courtesy of Allahu Akbar!!! Promotions)

  

Both Khow and Leftberg-Dhimmowitz said they believe the project will be built.

"Of course, it has to go ahead," Leftberg-Dhimmowitz said in a monotonous, robotic-like voice. "There are so many apes and pigs like me left to send to hell, inshallah."

Asked if America was "Islamophobic," Khow responded that it's like "the Infidels don't even know they're already dead, or that we are in charge here."

"It's not Islamophobia or even infuriating denial, it's beyond that — it's the pure bigoted hatred of Allah's devoted Soldiers carrying out the Prophet Mohammad's sacred orders, and we don't understand it," she said.

"We are deeply concerned that they won't just lie down and expire.

 

 

What the hell is wrong with them?" she asked, as she loosed enough CO² emissions into the atmosphere to make even Al Gore blush.

 

LOCKERBIE BOMBER COULD LIVE UNTIL 1438, say Moslem doctors, British Lord Hee Hee

  

Last updated at 12:59 PM on 20th August 1431 AH

  

The Lockerbie bomber could die as recently as 587 years ago, it has been claimed by devoutly religious Islamic medical experts and U.K. Immigration/Special Affairs Minister Sir Lord Charles Monteforte-Stanley Hee Hee, who made the following statement on behalf of the government:

"If my calculations are correct, 578 years from now, Ali Al Megrahi will be released from prison by the Scottish government with the tacit approval of Whitehall, after being given just three months to live. The Libyans will celebrate the 577th anniversary of the 637-year-old’s release 577 years from today, and the reaction in the West will still be negative, but manageable.

 I say old boy, this Asian calender can be a righ handy thing indeed!" he added.

A reporter then asked why he was using the "Asian" (British euphemism for Muslim) calendar?

"In order to not offend anyone! Plus we have to be concerned about the concerns of our energy partners. Plus, we don't want to get blown up, do we?!"

  

Megrahi is anxiously looking forward to his release in little more than half a millenia (AFP/Getty Images)

  

Lord Hee Hee then haughtily continued with his declaration:

"Now where was I? Ahhh yes, here we are. In addition, after having spoken to Islamic medical sources in Tripoli, I have calculated that Mr. Megrahi could very well die painfully barely 100 years after the Black Death ravages Europe in the 14th Century, if that's any consolation to you, but I don't expect that it will be considering how uptight everyone seems to be about this whole, shall we say, sordid affair?"

He then turned on his heel and, with his walking cane by his side, strolled quickly back into the busy corridors of Whitehall.

 

 

 

 

 

"I say old boy" said Lord Hee Hee, acting as Special Affairs Minister for the U.K. (photo courtesy of Prince Albert in a Can-Can)

 

JUST ANNOUNCED: 1ST ANNUAL "POO-POO ON A QU-QU" DAY!

   

 

  

August 20, 2010

(Washington) Much to the chagrin of the embattled president, the Speaker of the House, all the Libtards on the Left, as well as most Mo-Mo worshipers (Mu-Mu's) in America, the 1st annual "Poo-Poo on a Qu-Qu" day has just been announced!

In stark contrast to the outrage surrounding the plan by the Dove World Outreach Center in Gainesville, Florida to burn Qu-Qu's on September 11th to protest the violent, racist, misogynistic, alien, fascistic, fatalistic, paedophilic, paederastic, unfantastic, non-supercalifragilistic and downright nasty-ass and decidedly un-expialidocious ideology of the Mu-Mu's, this popular new protest actually has the support of the "green" oriented recycling movement in the U.S., as well as the enthusiastic backing of the farming-fertilization division of the Department of Agriculture.

 

 

(Note: For some, depending on spelling preference, this event can also be promoted as "Poo-Poo on a Koo-Koo" day; however, anyone promoting it as "Poo-Poo on a Qoo-Qoo" Day is clearly an ignorant apostate from the cause, and will be immediately Ki-Ki'd).

 

Ed "Greenhouse" Brown, spokesman for the Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of the Undersecretary's Assistant Legal Secretary of the USDA, could barely contain his excrement excitement.

"Not only do Americans get to protest the Mu-Mu's for all the evil crap that's in their Qu-Qu's, they also help to bring awareness to the necessity of recycling the millions of Qu-Qu's that have been dropped on us by the Saudis. The U.S. really needs to clear out some inventory, and these patriotic Americans can doo-doo it in a way that benefits American farmers and their arable lands. It's just fantastic all 'round!"

 

This Qu-Qu (or Koo-Koo) will be just one of the millions that will help American farmers (photo courtesy of Saudi Qu-Qu's Everywhere, Worldwide, in Your Face!)

Arable land that will benefit from the "Poo-Poo on a Qu-Qu" Day promotion (photo courtesy of O.W. Douglas Media)

 

"Poo-Poo on a Qu-Qu" Day is set for September 31st at any American farm near you. Qu-Qu's will be available at all locations, but feel free to bring one if you happen to unfortunately own it -- no que-que's asked -- and would like to donate it to the cause of future-fresh and tasty produce.

**JUST ANNOUNCED**

A vast series of all-you-can-eat "Fuel for Patriots" night-before banquets will be held in most rural ares in the continental United States!!

Check the website for dinner details and pre-register at ReleaseTheBeasts.com. Sign up by September 15th and you'll receive 20% off your "Fuel for Patriots" feast!

 

ER'sB asks: Fa-Fa?

 

OBAMA ANNOUNCES THAT NOPE, IT'S NOT HIS FAULT

  

July 22, 2010

 

President Obama at his Rose Garden press conference (courtesy of the Daily Turpitude)

 

(Washington) President Barack Obama said today it's not his fault.

In a brief announcement from the Rose Garden, the Chief Executive stated that Americans should stop looking at him when something that looks really bad happens.

"I am not responsible for that" said the president. "Not only did I not do it, I didn't even know about it at the time."

 

Obama: "I'm saddened by the attitudes of Americans today, and I hope that all this finger pointing will change" (PUI)

 

The president made his brief announcement shortly after what some critics have called "just the latest scandal so far this morning" involving amateurish missteps by the White House became known.

"It's tiresome" said Obama. "I'm a very busy man, but has anyone questioned why Bush Administration people have done nothing to ease this latest crisis? Sadly, everyone is trying to lay the blame at my feet, and it's not fair. I simply won't stand for it" said the president.  

Mr. Obama refused to take any questions and quipped "you'll probably blame me for that, too!"

 

"You're barking up the wrong tree, buddy!"  said Obama (PUI)

 

One reporter shouted a question to the president as he was walking back toward the Oval Office, and Obama turned with a smile and said "Ha! Thought you had me on that one, but you're barking up the wrong tree, buddy!"

There were no further details available at press time.

 

UK IMMIGRATION MINISTER RULED "RATHER UN-BRITISH," ORDERED DEPORTED

 

July 18, 2010

  

(LONDON)  Britain has banned and ordered deported its Immigration Minister, Damien Green, after Mr Green said there would not be a ban on burqas in Britain.

 

Damian Green had said that banning the burqa would be ''rather un-British'' and would run contrary to conventions of a ''tolerant and mutually respectful society.''

He had ignorantly pontificated that it would be ''undesirable'' for Parliament to vote on a burqa ban and that there was no prospect of the Coalition government proposing it.

 

"What the hell do you mean 'I hope you like sand?'" asked disgraced former Minister Damien Green (PUI)

 

MR GREEN FOUND OUT DIFFERENTLY

The Home Office, citing common sense along with a new poll showing that 70% of the British population strongly support a burqa ban, said "Minister Green, now former Minister Green, took the wrong occassion and spoke out of turn. In fact, he spoke stupidly, and has proven himself to be rather un-British. We are ordering him banned from Whitehall and he is to be deported to the Shari'ah-compliant country of his choosing. Either Saudi Arabia, Saudi Arabia, or Saudi Arabia."

 

Saudi Arabia: Former Minister Green's new street view (photo courtesy Miguel Cruz)

 

Mrs. Green was not permitted by her husband to comment (photo courtesy A.Choudary Promotions)

 

MP Lord Ahmed, when asked about this very unusual reaction, said "I called the Queen about this and she told me to fuck off and die. Just like that she said 'fuck off and die'...I couldn't believe it!  I told her I would mobilise 10,000 angry Muslims to attack Buckingham Palace, and she said if I did she'd have my head and then she'd order Prince Philip to piss down my severed neck. What has happended to dhimmi Britain, I ask you?"

 

"Fuck off and die!" said the Queen to MP Lord Ahmed (photo courtesy of A. Choudary Promotions)

 

Prince Philip, ready to piss down MP Lord Ahmed's severed neck if ordered to by the Queen. "I'll happily hose down the wretched little brown-skinned Muzzie" said the Prince, mincing no words as usual (courtesy R2 Communucations Ltd, UK)

 

WHAT'S GOING ON IN AFGHANISTAN? (PHOTO SERIES)

WHAT'S GOING ON IN AFGHANISTAN, YOU MIGHT BE WONDERING? WELL, THERE'S A WHOLE HELLUVA LOT OF ISLAM GOING ON!  AND, THERE'S A WHOLE HELLUVA LOT OF WASTED AMERICAN YOUTH, MISDIRECTED ENERGIES AND WASTED AMERICAN TREASURE GOING OUT THE DOOR! 

THE FOLLOWING ARE JUST SOME RECENT PHOTOS FROM AFGHANISTAN, WHERE THE RESIDENTS WILL NEVER LOVE US, NEVER EVEN LIKE US, NEVER APPRECIATE OUR EFFORTS AND IN SHORT, WILL FOREVER USE THE EXCUSE THAT WE "SET FOOT IN THEIR ISLAMIC COUNTRY" AS REASON FOR TERROR ATTACKS AND MURDERS.

FOREVER.

THERE'S FARMING GOING ON IN AFGHANISTAN:

 

Brothers Mohammad and Muhammad peacefully tend to Afghanistan's favorite cash crop (courtesy Al-Awlaki Media)

  

THERE'S RETRIBUTION TOO:

The DEA wipes out Mohammad and Muhammad's crops (courtesy DEA)

  

 

THERE'S A GOOD DEAL OF ASS-KISSING THE NATIVES:

American Forces are seen being "advised" by Muslim Afghani's (courtesy Al-Awlaki Media)



LOOKS LIKE A MOHAMMADAN WILL GET HIS 72 VIRGINS:

Another Islamist named Mohammad bites the big one (courtesy Great Satan Communications)

BUT OF COURSE, THE MOST IMPORTANT ACTIVITY IN AFGHANISTAN IS:

The smell is just atrocious at the door of the Mosque where Mohammadans slave to Allah (courtesy Al-Awlaki Media)

AFTER PRAYERS, IT'S BACK TO "ADVISING" SENIOR U.S. MILITARY OFFICERS:

"Oh we hate the Taliban, General" an unwashed mullah tells him, while planning to give away the American positions to the Taliban (Allahu Akbar Media)

AND THEN THERE ARE THE "LETTER BOX LADIES" AND THEIR PROPHET-BAIT SPAWN:

"Mother, can we kill this unclean infidel monkey and have him for dinner?" (courtesy Worldwide Aisha's Pants)

AND THE TALIBAN IS ALWAYS NEARBY, OR WITHIN THE RANKS OF OUR "ALLIES," OR, SOMEPLACE DAMNED CLOSE:

"Allahu Akbar you fucking Zionist pig! Die! Die! Die! Die!" thinks Mahmoud Mohammad (left) while his little brother Mohammad Mahmoud aims the RPG at the cameraman (Allahu Akbar Media)

  

OH BUT AGAIN, IT'S NOT ALL DESERT WASTELAND IN AFGHANISTAN:

An American soldier finds the rare "green" patch in the desert (courtesy Golden Triangle Promotions)

 

BUT THOSE GREEN PATCHES ARE RARE, INDEED:

Food for people isn't nearly as important for Mohammadans as producing poppies for the Taliban's war effort is  (Allahu Akbar Media)

 

JUST LOOK AT SOME OF THE JOY ISLAM HAS AFFORDED AFGHANISTAN:

"Destruction and death is Allah's will" says Mohammad al-Muhammad of the Taliban (courtesy AFP)

 

MORE OF ALLAH'S WILL:

"Maybe Islam really is just a cult of death and I should get the hell out" this man could be thinking. (Great Satan Communications)

 

BUT WILL THESE PEOPLE EVER BE ABLE TO GRADUATE FROM THE 7TH CENTURY?

IT'S DOUBTFUL.

 

AT LEAST NOT WITH THIS THING AT THE HELM:

 

 

 

 

IRAN INTRODUCES "MUSLIM-LIKE" ROBOT

  

July 6, 2010

 

(Tehran) It's arrogant, hateful, spiteful, perpetually enraged, and it's capable of indiscriminate violence against anyone or anything with little or no warning.

It loathes anything that's not just like it, and it desires carnal relations with goats or little girls younger than ten years of age.

It's Iran's new "Muslim-like" Robot called Surena II, and it has expressed it's determination to conquer the world in accordance with the commands of the Muslim Prophet Mohammad.

In other words, it's virtually indistinguishable from a raving, ranting, human Muslim.

"Allahu Akbar, asshole!" said the Surena II at a press conference where the new "Mo-Bot" was introduced to the world (courtesy of Bob May Media)

 

At a press conference to introduce the Surena II, the Robot (or "Mo-Bot" as it's been dubbed) went on an hour-long rant against Jews and Christians, which it called "monkeys and apes," as well as against all "unclean infidel scum" everywhere. The following is a portion of the Q&A between the Mo-Bot and the press:

Q: How do you feel?

A: I feel like a jihadi ready to kill-kill-kill-kill for Allah.

Q: What do you do all day?

A: I compute the Holy Qur'an and Hadith and I run code for Jew death-death-death-death and beheadings.

Q: Do you have any immediate plans?

A: I would detonate myself right now if I were not restrained-restrained-restrained-restrained.

Q: If you could tell the whole world just one thing, what would it be?

A: It would be Allahu Akbar, asshole-asshole-asshole-asshole-asshole-ass...

(Mo-Bot sputters to a stop)

At this point, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad had rushed over and pulled the plug on the hideous contraption. 

 

"La Illah iIla Allah-Allah-Allah-Allah-Allah Jew scum apes and pigs-pigs-pigs-pigs" said the Surena II (courtesy Dick Tufeld Promotions, LTD)

 

 

 

OBAMA'S LABOR SECRETARY REACHES OUT TO "LONELY OR DEPRESSED" YOUNG MUSLIM MALES WHO "BELIEVE VERY STRONGLY"

 

June 24, 2010

(Washington) Hot on the heels of the controversial program launched by the Labor Department to help ensure that illegal aliens in the United States are paid fairly, Labor Secretary Hilda Solis announced today a follow up program that will work to assist another beleaguered group of U.S. residents: lonely or depressed young Muslim males who "believe very strongly."

 

Hilda Solis of the U.S. Dept. of Labor (file)

 

"Every strongly believing young Muslim male living in America, whether here legally or not, has the right to have company and to be happy" said Solis in a new video that will debut tomorrow on the Department's "We Can Help" website.

She cited the case of Faisal Shahzad, the Connecticut man who pleaded guilty ten times over to attempting to set off a car bomb in Times Square on May 1st, and explained how loneliness and financial difficulties had been at the root of all his troubles.

 

Foreclosed upon American citizen Faisal Shahzad (Allahu Akbar Media)

 

"If only Mr. Shahzad, an American citizen from Connecticut, had had a friend, or if only he hadn't been foreclosed upon, he wouldn't have gone a little crazy the way he did. We want to help make sure that other lonely or depressed young Muslim males who believe strongly get the assistance they need, even if it's just a shoulder to cry on" said Solis.

Asked if she felt that Shahzad's confession of being a Muslim "soldier" and "Islamic jihadist" had anything to do with the failed attack, Solis appeared to "go blank" for a moment, but then stated "No, of course not. Jihad is a legitimate tenant of Islam, it is a holy struggle and it is improper to use that term when describing random attacks and man-made disasters by lone-wolves or overseas contingency operations."

Further asked what the Department means by "strongly believing" Muslim males, she replied "those whose beliefs in...things...things that are very important to them are...are very strong."

 

Times Square, where Connecticut resident Faisal Shahzad almost went "a little crazy" due to loneliness and foreclosure (PUI)

 

Questioned about whether or not she believes that it's at least possible that Islam is what Shahzad and many other young Muslims believe in so strongly, and act violently as a result of, she sighed heavily and replied "Islam is a religion of peace™ & tolerance. It is one of the three great Abrahamic Faiths. We of course don't believe that Islam is in any way a factor, in anything, except for peaceful & tolerant...things."

 

What follows is a transcript of Solis' new PSA:

"You work hard, or maybe in your culture there is no tradition of working at all, but either way, you have the right to have company and to be happy. I'm U.S. Secretary of Labor Hilda Solis, and it's a serious problem when young Muslim males who believe strongly are not getting the attention they deserve, or the happiness that they need. Remember, every strongly believing young Muslim male in America, whether documented or not, has the right to have company, and the right to be happy. So, call us -- it is free and confidential -- at 1-800-555-1212. We can help, before things go a little...crazy...in your life."

OP-ED: HELEN THOMAS, GO TO HELL, YOUR ORIGINAL HOME by Eleanor Ruth

June 7, 2010

 

Hell (shown here with optional dragon): Helen Thomas' next stop (Linkmesh)

Hell, those of you know me or have followed my postings here and there are probably aware that I don't believe in Hell. You probably know I'm anti-theist and that I don't really believe in Heaven either. But you know what? As far as not believing in Hell is concerned, I'm going to make a nice big exception for Helen Thomas. That's right, I want Helen Thomas, as quickly as possible, to go straight to Hell, because I think that's where she came from in the first place.

Recently, at a Jewish Heritage Month celebration, Thomas, still quite a "looker" at 89, went on the record to say that the Israelis "should get the hell out of Palestine." Further, she stated that the Palestinian people "are occupied and it's their land." She recommended to the Israelis that they should "go home" to Germany or Poland or wherever.

Helen Thomas, fascist supporter (file)

Apparently, this isn't the first time "ol' denture-snarl" has gone off about Israelis or Jews, either. There were the infamous "pro Hezbollah" position statements (in the form of a question) directed at White House Press Secretary Tony Snow in 2006, and I'm sure it won't be long before even more statements reeking of Jew hate or the veiled wishes for another Holocaust will be dug up as well, much like a medical examiner might exhume the putrid and rotting corpse of some old, dead Nazi. 

An old, dead Nazi: Wilhelm Frick, executed at Nuremberg.

"Oh, but Eleanor," you might say. "She's an old, old lady and you should be more respectful!" 

Why? because she's ancient and has far outlived her usefulness? Not a chance. I don't feel sorry for her in any way, and her advanced age is HER problem, not mine.  Adolf Hitler, if he were alive today, would be 121 years old. Would his advanced age temper my desire to at least attempt to ram a tire iron down his f**king throat, if I had the chance?

You get the idea. Respect is earned by good deeds, not just by living too long and becoming an insufferable old hag who doesn't have the good sense to know when it's time to just stay at home and stop stinking up the White House press room.

Adolf Hitler, sans tire iron (WWII Archive)

Now, former White House Spokesmen Lanny Davis and Ari Fleischer are calling for Thomas' firing, as they should. As Everyone should. Thomas is way past her prime (if she ever even had one), and a person that old and that heinously bigoted should just waddle on off into the proverbial sunset.

Don't get me wrong, I have great respect for the aged, but not the aged like that. And certainly not if they're fascistically-bigoted nincompoops.

The world doesn't need her particular brand of 1930's style fascism support anymore; we have a new form of that old beast that we have to deal with already, and Helen Thomas has never been at all helpful in fighting it; in fact she's only ever aided it.

So go to Hell, Helen. You go right to that proverbial place down there, deep in the earth -- that place where evil dwells for all eternity. I'll believe in it just this once, just for you.

"HELP US DESTROY ISRAEL, WON'T YOU, FRIEND?" by Rachel Corrie™'s Agent

June 6, 2010

 

Martyr Rachel Corrie™, peacefully demonstrating for Palestinian children the correct posture for hanging curtains (UPS)

 

Hello, this is Rachel Corrie™'s agent. You remember Rachel Corrie™, don't you? She was the sweet, fun-loving young American girl murdered so ruthlessly by the Israeli Defense Forces in 2003 while only trying to protect the backyard kool-aid stand of some young, sweet, fun-loving Palestinian children?

Of course you remember her, how could anyone forget such a brilliant young woman who was so full of promise? That is, until she was brutally destroyed by those apartheid Israeli monsters!

You might be wondering, why does Rachel Corrie™ need an agent when she was flattened over seven years ago? Well, in case you're not aware, Rachel Corrie™ has transcended both life and death, and has become an industry in and of her self, thin though it may be. 

There was, of course, "My Name Is Rachel Corrie™," the runover, I mean, runaway hit play in London and New York, and there were the Movie of the Week negotiations as well as all the T-shirts, mugs, bumperstickers and balloons -- not to mention the ship just seen in the news recently, the Rachel Corrie™!

 

The Rachel Corrie™ at dock in Ireland (Ire Killyah Media)

 

Rachel Corrie™ has become a household name all over the world, and all that fame and profit needs to be managed by a professional like me. Besides, it would be impossible for her poor parents to manage it, traveling all over the world like they do, accepting awards, demonizing Israel while being accidentally almost kidnapped by the very people they're shilling for, etc. They're really busy people, and as long as they get their check from the Rachel Corrie™ Fund every month, they're more than happy to let me run things.

 

Rachel Corrie™'s parents, accepting an award from a delighted Yassir Arafat (courtesy PLO Promotions)

 

Anyway, what I'm really writing about today is our desperate need to get everybody together and destroy Israel, okay? Rachel Corrie™ would want everyone to do that. She would want you to do that. Are you going to let Rachel Corrie™ down, friend?

International Solidarity Movement martyr Rachel Corrie™ in a post mortem photo (courtesy of IHOP)

 

Site of the former Kool-Aid stand of the Palestinian children Rachel Corrie™ died protecting (PLO Promotions)

 

I mean, you know? Come on, level with me here...everyone knows Israel must be destroyed, and who better to help do it than the friends of Rachel Corrie™?

Listen buddy, here's what you do, it's really easy. Just book a trip to Israel, lie your ass off and tell them you're simply a "tourist," then when you get there, slip over into Gaza and start raising hell! It's what Rachel Corrie™ and her BFF's did, and you can follow their example.

Just do everything in your power to put the lives of the evil Israelis in danger and, whatever you do, don't let them hurt any peaceful Palestinians. It's easy peezy Jap-an-neezy, ya know?

A peaceful Palestinian child (right) demonstrates how the evil Israelis should be greeted when encountered on the street (PicOfTheDay)

 

Well that's all the time I have to write today, I have to go to my 13th meeting with that movie studio, you know, the one that keeps forgetting we had appointments?  Anyway, wish me luck, and, if you or someone you know is in the market to buy a really great screenplay, will you give me a ring? Thanks, friend!

Peace,

Rachel Corrie™'s Agent

VIEW: "Modern, Cosmopolitan Afghanistan!" by Eleanor Ruth

June 6, 2010

(International Photo Report)

 

I don't know about you all, but I am so glad the United States has been sinking billions of our hard-earned taxdollars -- not to mention the sweat and blood of our brave Servicemen and women -- into Afghanistan, in order to help the "ordinary moms and pops" turn the once desolate hell-hole of Afghanistan into a modern, cosmopolitan showplace for the world!

Winston Churchill was just dead wrong when he wrote of Afghanistan, and about Islam in particular: "No stronger retrograde force exists in the world."

Come on Winnie you old poop! Islam is as modern as anything else!! Stop being so darned Islamophobic, grumpy and racist!!

 

Islamophobic and racist "old poop" Winston Churchill (file)

 

Here are some of my favorite photographs that demonstrate, beyond any doubt, that our investment toward modernizing Afghanistan has really been worthwhile!

 

MODERNITY AT ITS FINEST!

Muzzammil Mohammad, 12, is followed by his step-mother Aaleyah, 9, who is carrying her co-wife's son Sadeem Muhammad, 18 months, as they excitedly make their way to the newly opened "Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) Mega-Mall" located on the outskirts of Kabul (courtesy Al-Khillyah)

 

The newly opened "Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) Mega-Mall" near Kabul (courtesy Al-Khillyah)

 

 

Cost of the "Mega-Mall" to the American taxpayer? ONLY $16,000,000 !!

The "Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) Public Square" in the heart of Mazar-i-Sharif, where citizens gather daily to burn a tire on the freshly "paved" surface of the previously dirt street (Khin Khan TV)

 

Cost of "paving(?)" the "square" to the American taxpayer? ONLY $9,000,000 !!

 

Inside the newly built "Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) Elementary School," outside of Khost, young Afghan Muslim girls listen raptly as their teacher, Muhammad al-Ghettyah al-Nekkhed (not pictured), instructs them on what their duties will be -- as newlyweds -- in their upcoming arranged marriages to much older uncles (Allahu Akbar News Corp.)

 

The newly dedicated "Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) Elementary School" near Khost, Afghanistan (Allahu Akbar News Corp.)

 

Cost of the "Elementary School" to the American taxpayer? ONLY $44,000,000 !!

 

As you can plainly see, America's investment is a great one, and despite the bigoted baloney that some Islamophobes and racists try and sell you, Islam is NOT keeping these people in the Dark Ages! In fact, we should all celebrate "Modern, Cosmopolitan Afghanistan!!"