August 23, 2010
"I flushed that 9/11 trauma out of my system by 9/12, and bigoted Americans can flush theirs too!" says Maureen Dowd (photo courtesy of Tango Whiskey Alpha Tango Publishing)
(Washington) Maureen Dowd, columnist for the New York Times and bestselling author, hopes to add another big success to her resume with her newly published self-help guide entitled The Maureen Dowd Guide To Flushing That Ignorant 9/11 Trauma Out Of Your System!
Dowd, looking not a day older than her 78 years, said the idea came to her recently, when protests by Americans against a Triumphal Mega-Mosque on the hallowed site of Ground Zero in New York City "really pissed me off."
"The Americans in this country are apparently having some kind of nervous breakdown over the memory of September 11, 2001, and it's just pathetic" said Dowd.
"It's yesterdays news" said author Maureen Dowd of the 9/11 Islamic terror attacks (photo courtesy of CNN)
"I very quickly threw this guide together, like I do with most of my writings, and my message for Americans is to get the hell over it and stop whining about a bunch of dead office workers already! It's yesterday's news! It could just as easily have been a fire started by a coffee maker, or something."
Dowd also reaffirmed the strong belief she has in one of her close Muslim friends, a man she identifies only as "Ibrahim."
"Ibrahim is a very important man in the Muslim community, a man who is known for his honesty, and he told me in no uncertain terms that Muslims and Islam had absolutely nothing to do with 9/11, and that Americans are nothing but racist, Islamophobic bigots if 9/11 still bugs them, and I agree.
"boy, he is so right..."
When president Obama recently came out in favor of the Ground Zero center, I remember saying out loud, 'boy, he is so right', and everyone else is so wrong.
Just look at how Americans have reacted to the plan for this wonderful, healing, bridge-building facility at ground zero. They're sick, and I'm here to help with my new book, available today at fine bookstores everywhere!" she giggled.
"Americans are nothing but racist, Islamophobic bigots if 9/11 still bugs them" said Dowd as she shook her head disapprovingly (photo courtesy of CNN)
"It could just as easily have been a fire started by a coffee maker" said Dowd (photo courtesy New York Port Authority)
Although she refused to give many details of the advice for flushing the trauma that she recommends in her book, Dowd did say that one of the best ideas she's heard is for racist Americans to atone for their grevious offenses to Muslims by giving generously of their money and their time, especially to the Cordoba Triumphal Mega-Mosque Initiative.
"I don't understand what's going on with the American people these days, it could be mass-hysteria fueled by Republicans who just want to kill all Muslims, but like I told my friend Ibrahim, I flushed that 9/11 trauma out of my system by 9/12, and bigoted Americans can flush theirs too!
Inshallah! Ibrahim immediately wailed!" Dowd remembered.
Inshallah, indeed?
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