"Ask A Semi-Literate Musulman" is an exciting new feature that will appear weekly on Eleanor Ruth's Blog! Viewers are invited to send in their questions -- on any topic -- and heck, we may just select yours to be answered personally (if not at all intelligibly) by our staff "Semi-Literate Musulman!"
Semi-Literate Musulman, shown here (second row, sixth from the left), welcomes all of your questions! (courtesy SLM Media)
Dear Semi-Literate Musulman,
I just found-out that there's a mosque going up directly across the street from my 6 year-old daughter's elementary school. Should I be concerned?
Thanks!
Abe in Lincoln
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Deer Abb on Likkin hate,
Yuo shuld bethan so axited than moske going be upthan neer yuo litle daughtry skool! Yuo shold not bee than cuncernd at al! Why wold yuo thinked it wold bethan problum? Wii have many Immum who will take care of yuosexee lytle daughtry! In thanIsmal, if she be 6 yeer old, she be eleguhbul for ungagment and than ate 9, she can than mary one of are Immum, evun! Jus lyke are Porphort!
From the hadith of Bukhari, volume 5, #234
"Narrated Aisha: The prophet engaged me when I was a girl of six...my mother, Um Ruman, came to me while I was playing in a swing with some of my girl friends. She called me, and I went to her, not knowing what she wanted to do to me...I was breathless then...She said "Best wishes and Allah's blessing and good luck" as she prepared me (for the marriage). Unexpectedly Allah's messenger came in the forenoon and my mother handed me over to him, and at that time I was a girl of nine years of age."
Werenot than wunnerfil storie Ab? Thinked aboat how axcited are Grate Prophort Mohamsandhand (TDTM) must have be when he see lytle 9 yeer old Arisha with knowthan pants be on! An how axcited she most have ben to, dispite than fakt than she be screemed in Arbic for she vary lyfe.
This litel gurl proly look likethan Arseha at yuong age, cryed from joy aftur than marryage too are Grated Prophort!
Do not yuo wanted yuor daughtry too ecksperense than joy of than Ilsam mens marryig, Ab in Likko hate?
Thanaks far writ!
SLM
Dear Semi-Literate Musulman,
I am a traveling salesman, and sometimes after long hours on the road I need to answer the "call of nature" but there isn't always a gas station or rest stop around. Do you think it's okay to use a bush, especially when it's an emergency?
Thanks!
Harry, in Cleveland
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Deer hairy Hate on Cleev,
Funy yuo shuld than sent a quesin abuot than, I war jest read in than hadteeth aboat than grated Propet Muhamhead (IWSN) when he had releeved histhan "cal too natrual." Hear is what I were read:
“Narrated `Abdullah bin `Umar: People say, "Whenever you sit for answering the call of nature, you should not face the Qibla or Baitul−Maqdis (Jerusalem)." I told them. "Once I went up the roof of our house and I saw Allah's Apostle answering the call of nature while sitting on two bricks facing Baitul−Maqdis (Jerusalem”) (Bukhari: 1.4.147).
I wood say than, Hair hater inn clove, try too notuse than busch, trytoo use than briks lyke are Porophet do do. An donot fargot too face thanJoosulums.
Yuo taked cair!
SLM
Dear Semi-Literate Musulman,
I think I have a real problem. I hate everything and everyone now. I hate my parents and they hate me too. I am now so anrgy all the time I feel like I'm going to explode! I want to attack people I used to like, and and take revenge on them for all the wrongs they've done on me. I want to feel the blinding sweet release of all of my rage and fury and I want everyone to notice that I am IMPORTANT while I MAKE THEM SUFFER TERRIBLE AGONIES FOR ALL ETERNITY!!
HELP!
Michael, in Detroit
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Deer Bruther,
Hang in their! Weak to of than "Interducton to Ilsam" shuld be evun more fun for yuo!
Slamaaam than,
SLM
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