FEATURE: "It doesn't really say that you bigoted Islamophobic jerk!"

"It doesn't really say that you bigoted Islamophobic jerk!" is a special feature on Eleanor Ruth's Blog!  We take verses from the Qur'an or narrations from various Hadith and allow our staff Muslimahs -- Jumanah, Dhabah, or "Hideous" Jamie -- to explain what those verses or narrations really mean.

Today's verse is from the Qur'an (Q 4:34)

"Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allâh has made one of them to excel the other. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allâh and to their husbands), and guard in the husband's absence what Allâh orders them to guard. As to those women on whose part you see ill­conduct, admonish them, refuse to share their beds, and beat them."

And today's Muslimah is Jumanah:

Yeah it's just like with my friends Ibrahim and Mahmoud. I consider them to be my protectors, especially lately. Like when this one little Jewish skank came up to me the other day all quiet and mouse-like and asked me if what I'd said about being "for it" was true? My "men" got right in her face and told her where she could stick her stupid Zionist question! Then the bitch got all upset when Mahmoud gave her a bloody nose! She actually had the nerve to call the cops on him, but the little whore got hers. We informed those cops that if they f**ked with us we'd start a riot on campus, so they ended up arresting her for "disorderly conduct!"

We laughed so hard!! Those stupid Jews, when will they ever learn that we Muslims are the ones who are really in charge?!

Jumanah, photographed recently at the MSA's annual "Muslims Rule So Cal!" family picnic (courtesy La Jolla Daily Musulman)

Yeah so anyway, Allah says very clearly that men are to protect and maintain women, so what's the big confusion? And before you point out that it says about husbands beating their wives if they feel like it, I'll have you know it doesn't really say that you bigoted Islamophobic jerk! Have you ever read Deuteronomy in the Bible? Have you seen all the violence in there? Huh? Explain that Mr. Fancy pants? You bigots and racists are always going on and on about all the open-ended violence in the Qur'an but do you ever look at the freaking Bible?

What's that you say? Stick to the Qur'an? Why don't you kiss my plentiful ass?! You want to end up like Miss Jew whore did?

You people at that racist ER'sB are just so unbelievable! That's it I quit. I can't take this abuse from you morons anymore. I try to be nice and informative and you treat me like a 2nd class citizen, just like that awful David Horowitz did. But I will have you know that it's YOU, Mr. Fancypants, who is the 2nd class citizen around here!

And be sure to tell that Eleanor bitch where to get off if she doesn't like it!

Oh look at the time! I'm late for the All U Can Eat brunch buffet over at Bayside. 

F*CK!

~Jumanah