"Ask A Semi-Literate Musulman" is an exciting new feature that will appear weekly on Eleanor Ruth's Blog! Viewers are invited to send in their questions -- on any topic -- and heck, we may just select yours to be answered personally (if not at all intelligibly) by our staff "Semi-Literate Musulman!"
Dear Semi-Literate Musulman,
I am a young American girl and I'm confused about Islam. My little friends tell me it's
a "Religion of Peace™" but I'm not so sure. It seems to be really, really violent. Can you
clear this up for me?
Thanks!
Becky in Atlanta
-------------------------
Deer bucky in atlandtar, hater:
Islma is thanpeiecful religon. DOnot let yuor litel frends tell yuo that it isnot! As faar ass violets, al religons are violet, borky, cept than for Imsal. Fore asample, Protantion and Carthority fight wars for .300 yeers in Yorp whale Ilsam was just peice. An ware didthan piece come from? It were installed by are grate propet Muhamhand (PTSD). Hear is a too wondarfil shert storys about him thanI think be aporpriate for a yuong girl lyke yuo:
“Narrated `Aisha: The Prophet and I used to take a bath from a single pot. During the menses,
he used to order me to put on an Izar (dress worn below the waist) and used to fondle me”
(Bukhari: 1.6.298)
“Muhammad put his cheek and chest in between the naked thighs of a menstruating Aisha...” (Sunaan Abu Dawud, 1.0270)
As yuo can see, bocky hate, are profit Muhamhead (FDIC) was a wonderfill man who lovd litle girls lyke yuo! Plese try too be lyke litle Asisha and fynde an old derty mens for yuorslef.
Thank fro writin,
SLM
************************************************************
Dear Semi-Literate Musulman,
What sort of fertilizer would you recommend I use in my garden if I want to grow great tomatoes?
Thanks!
John in London
-------------------------
Johna hater londo,
Funy yuo shuld arsk that than, I was just thought about how thanArabic land were a fertile ground forthan new religoon, Ismal, in 326 (DA). It were a new religoon to bee bourne. Muhamhead (NTSB) were deeply influenzed by than land. He new he need to fertalize than land or he wood havethan big touble. So he waterd thanland with than bloody infuduls. Than he war abel too grow grate tomates.
Try bloddy infiduels, jhon hater loondan, try them than and tomtaose shuld grew grate!
Sierencly,
SLM
************************************************************
Dear Semi-Literate Musulman,
Do you think the President is Muslim? I hear Islam is a peaceful faith, so if he is, even if he swears he is not, then that would still be a good thing, right?
Thanks!
George in Washington
-------------------------
Deer Grgeoge warshin hater:
A corse it be thangood think! If thanArbic peeple hav molism pressuredent he can undertstan we mosliem needs and given to us al we dumand. And we duhmend a loot! And, he canthan lye with imnunity. Here arethan woord of are grate Profeit Muhamsteakhanded (AFLCIO):
“Allah willing, if ever I take an oath to do something, and later on I find that it is more beneficial
to do something different, I will do the thing which is better, and give expiation for my oath”.
(Bukhari: 4.53.361).
See than? It shuld all be so cleer too yuo now Gogoreg wurshin hater mens, that than pressuredent -- if mausoleum -- can than say enythink he want too an bee Ullah fargived.
Thnk for wrtnint,
SLM
Recent Comments