23 September, 2010
(Merseyside) A Muslim female whore and disgrace-to-her-honorable-family teacher at an all-boys school has been charged with sex offences against two pupils and sentenced to an excruciatingly painful death.
Hina Patel, 37, was working as a supply teacher when over a period of several weeks she allegedly engaged two boys, both 16, in sexual acts while at the school.
"In the final two days before my face is destroyed and my head reduced to nothing but a bloody pulp, I will try to remain positive!" said the smiling Patel (Liverpool Daily Shariah Post)
Patel was employed as a cover supervisor, filling short-term absences of teachers at Birkdale High School, Merseyside, which has 930 pupils aged 11 to 16.
She was immediately suspended from her position after the allegations emerged earlier this year and placed in family detention in the dirt-basement of her father's house.
Yesterday, she was brought before the Shariah Council of Merseyside and sentenced to be stoned to death on Friday after prayers in the town green.
"I say old man" said Provisional Minister Lord Hee Hee (photo courtesy of Prince Albert in a Can Can)
"Jolly good, this new Shariah Britain is wonderfully effecient!" noted Provisional Minister for the Crown Sir Lord Charles Monteforte-Stanley Hee Hee.
"It reminds me of how justice was meted out in the good old days, under Edward the First. I am sure it will be just as effective a deterrent against such hideous crimes as drawing & quartering was for Longshanks. Remember William Wallace!" he said.
Patel, who will be buried up to her neck in the ground and then stoned with fist-sized rocks until her eyes pop out, her skull is destroyed, and her brain is the consistency of pudding, said she's trying to remain positive.
"I know I have offended Allah and the Prophet Mohammad (PBUH). Our prophet was such a good and decent man and taught the world so much, I deserve to be punished harshly for having done things he never would have approved of" she said.
Normally a field for football, on Friday after prayers, Hina Patel will be stoned to death for adultery here. Tickets are available at the Liverpool Muslim Society Mosque. Tell them you read about it on ER'sB and get 10% off your admission price for a limited time only!
Upon being informed of Mohammad's true, sociopathic personality and murderous deeds, her demeanor changed abruptly.
"You mean he was really evil and horrible and raped little girls and murdered people?!" she cried.
Lord Hee Hee, always at the ready to defend Islam on behalf of Her Majesties government, assured her it was all just being taken out of context, and that her impending brutal execution will, in fact, be just.
Ms. Patel's father, with the help of her two brothers, then grabbed her by the hair and threw her face-first into the boot of their car for the journey back to her basement cell to await her final disposition.
"All's well that ends well!" said Lord Hee Hee cheerfully, as he turned on his heel and, with his walking cane by his side, strolled quickly out of sight into the early morning mists of Merseyside.