September 16, 2010
Imam Faisal Abdul Rauf, the leader of the Ground Zero Mega-Mosque Initiative, today filed suit in a hastily convened Shariah court against all of the tenants of his slums in Union City New Jersey, charging Islamic slander.
The Imam maintains that suing Islamically is his religious right.
"it may be true I am a slumlord, but it is illegal to say it" said Imam Rauf.
"As a prominent and important Muslim religious leader it is my right to sue them as the Shariah provides," he said.
Under Shariah law, which Rauf intends to introduce to America from Ground Zero, slander is not defined as an untruth about a Muslim, but only as something said that might hurt the feelings of a Muslim.
An apartment complex in Union City, NJ owned and maintained by Imam Rauf (photo courtesy of Mega-Mosque! In Your Face! Promotions)
"And my feelings are truly hurt" said the Imam, adding "while it may be true that I am a slumlord, the Shariah regards any statement by anyone that I am a slumlord as illegal. Calling me a slumlord causes me pain, and those who did so will pay" he said.
Standard punishment for Islamic slanderers is a "Hadd" punishment of 80 lashes.
Randy Jenkins, tenant of Apartment 23C, whined about the lack of electricity and running water, and so receives his Shariah punishment (Fars News Agency)
Asked about the Imam's plans to go all Islamic on his tenants, President Obama said "it's his religious right under the First Amendment to insist on Shariah proceedings and punishments against his ungrateful tenants. They should have thought about who they were messing with before they opened their big mouths. I have no pity for Islamic slanderers."
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, when asked about the situation, was speechless -- possibly for the first time in his entire life.