by Fritz Julius Kuhn
April 27, 1942
Five months after December 7th, can anyone doubt that the Axis powers are simply not that deadly a threat? Since that somewhat unpleasant day last year, once governments everywhere began serious countermeasures, Herr Hitler and Tojo's so-called "war" network has been unable to launch a single major attack on high-value targets in the United States. While it hast caused attacks by the Wehrmacht in Europe and the Japanese Imperial Navy in the south Pacific, it has been unable to execute a single one in America.
This error in judgement by the American authorities ist quite damaging to Japanese-Americans and German-Americans in this country, and should be apologized for, and reparations should be paid to all who have been hurt by the subsequent spike in Japophobia and especially Naziophobia.
Also, the government should immediately release me from this internment camp in Texas so that I can begin zee bridge-building process with my planned inter-political community center (mit only a tiny Ehrentemple attached) at Pearl Harbor in Hawaii.
In the past, the U.S. government has always built up for wars, assumed emergency authority, and sometimes abused that power, yet always demobilized after the war. But in 1942, only twenty-four years after the end of the Great War which was caused by the dirty Jüden, we're just coming out of a great depression, and right now we simply cannot afford to treat our present situation like a "war".