(AN ER'sB SPECIAL LIFESTYLES POSTING)
"HEY EVERYBODY, IT'S ALMOST TIME FOR THE FAIRE!"
The first annual Koranically Authentic Islamic Faire! is expected to be similar to a Renaissance Faire -- only with a lot of authentic death and misery (courtesy Jinn Media)
September 24, 2010
What do you get when you combine a medieval, Dark Ages lifestyle, fervent religious devotion and blood-lust, with ordinary Americans from Michigan?
Well, at least some devout Muslims are insisting that all of those things will combine to form a "Jihad-Jamboree" that residents of the "Auto State" will never forget!
Doris H. of Dearborn: "That's one Jamboree I will never forget!" (PUI)
The Dearborn chapter of the International Association of "Muslim Youth for Holy Accuracy and Religious Everyday Medievalism (MYHAREM)" is proud to announce the creation of the first annual "Koranically Authentic Islamic Faire!" slated to be held in a large field outside of Dearborn, Michigan, next weekend!
Event organizer Muhammad al-Muhammad, 23, of Dearborn, a founding member of MYHAREM International, explained that "by hosting this Koranically Authentic Islamic Faire! we intend to demonstrate for the people of Michigan just how serious we are about our Islam, and just as importantly, how serious they will be as well before too many years go by."
The "Koranically Authentic" Way (courtesy Ahmadinejad Photography Ltd.)
He said that "Anyone of any age can come to the Faire! However, all Infidels must be prepared to either submit to Allah, pay the jizya, or die by the sword. Any Jews who attend won't have to worry about making a choice, because they don't have any" he added.
"In Michigan, we are not dicking around like those jackasses from CAIR (Council on American Islamic Relations) or the MAS (Muslim American Society) are. Hooper and Awad and all those other Islam is peace & tolerance liars will one day find their own heads in their laps if they don't get with Allah's program."
Two members of MYHAREM Int'l field-testing a potential location for the Koranically Authentic Islamic Faire! outside of Dearborn, MI. This site, however, "just reeked of Kuffar," and was eventually rejected (courtesy Worldwide Aisha's Pants)
"Basically" al-Muhammad continued, "our position is that the so-called moderate Muslims operating in the U.S. today are complete bullshit and need to die. All of them. They are an affront to Allah and to the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH).
We hope those phony mealy-mouthed traitorous beekeeping apostates suffer protracted and emaciating deaths -- preferably from some form of excruciatingly painful rectal cancer -- along with all Kuffar (a term for non-Muslims), but especially the Jews, inshallah.
We true Muslims in MYHAREM Int'l are utterly committed to the perfection of Islam as Allah laid down so clearly to our Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) through the Angel Gabriel. And, we're proud to announce that all of that Islamic perfection and glory will be on full display next weekend at our first annual Koranically Authentic Islamic Faire! Please come, bring your young daughters, and all of your jizya (money)!"
The cornfield near Dearborn that was ultimately selected by MYHAREM Int'l members as the perfect spot for the first annual Koranically Authentic Islamic Faire! next weekend (courtesy The Daily Musulman)
"We are not dicking around" says Muhammad al-Muhammad, founding member of MYHAREM Int'l (courtesy Jinn Media)
"The fact of the matter is, we like to get a lot of strange in Islam, just like our Prophet did" explained al-Muhammad. "We're not going to try and deny the fact that he liked naked 9 year old girls by pretending that we don't. We like to beat them too, just like he liked to beat his last wife Aisha. In fact, we beat all of our women, just to honor Him.
I hope the residents of Dearborn and all of Michigan will bring their sexy little daughters to the Faire! Remember that in Islam, even 6 year old women are eligible for engagement, so please don't hesitate!
We insist that the people of Michigan have an experience with us that they will never forget.
"In Islam, even 6 year old women are eligible for engagement..." (courtesy Worldwide Aisha's Pants)
All of the Infidels of Michigan, and of America, must be made to understand that Islam is the only possible future for this country and for the world, and the sooner they accept that and submit to Allah, the better it will be for their families.
So please, I invite everyone to feel free to bring the whole family to the Faire!, but I must caution that in all likelihood, they will be raped and enslaved, unless they are hideously ugly or obese. Michigan Infidel men will just have to accept that most of their women and girls will be our wives and concubines almost before they -- the husbands and fathers --can make it through the line at the Halal goat-on-a-stick stand.
All Infidels have been invited, and I demand that they come."
The losers of the sword fights at the Koranically Authentic Islamic Faire! will actually be beheaded (Khaybar News Corp.)
Seven themed stages offer a variety of entertainment from Jew-head jugglers and Jinns to magic spinal sperm demonstrations and heretic stonings. There will be no wandering musicians because music is Haram, but Jihadi enthusiasts in everyday 7th century/modern attire will stroll the sandy paths of the recreated 7th century Arab bedouin village, enforcing morality codes and demonstrating battery acid-throwing techniques. Sword fighting competitions are held three times a day, so long as a sufficient number of fighters remain alive enough to fight.
Join the Koranically Authentic Faire's Games arena by stepping up to test your balancing ability on the Hangman's Crossbar, or prove your strength at the Test O' Mettle, where you are stoned until you are unconscious, have lost one eye, and at least half of your teeth. Scimitar throwing, Islamic darts of death, and other games of skill can also be found throughout the Faire, as well as donkey-powered rides, poets to assassinate, and plenty of Halal Faire food.
Available at no extra charge, the Children's Realm at the Koranically Authentic Islamic Faire is for women 6 years to 10 years of age only. Activities include male anatomy instruction, Harem-style tent dancing, tongue-sucking techniques, a quick introduction on how to please an uncle-husband over 50, and much more, all designed just for your daughters!