August 28, 2010
(Cairo, Egypt) As 29-year old taxi driver Khnab J'ahkki makes his way from Friday prayers at the Al-Azhar mosque near the University in Cairo, his thoughts turn to where he might find some temporary "Prophet Mohammad love" tonight, and how best to keep his extracurricular activities safely on the down-low.
One of Khnab's co-workers at the Taxi company, Khaleed "Ahneed" Mo'azz, is thinking the same thing as he stows away his cap and fare book in his company locker.
The two men, gayer than blades in a Judy Garland revue, are by no means alone in the Muslim world.
As professor I'bn Saweed Suq'un of Al-Azhar University, who conducted the study, explains, the rate of homosexuality in the Muslim world runs close to 80% in men. But, the gaiety of these Islamic men is not simply directed at other men; as it turns out, the passion and desire is psychologically based in a concupiscent longing to get "down and dirty" with the Muslim Prophet Mohammad, and any willing man will do.
The Prophet Mohammad as a gorgeous, effeminate, bisexual youth (photo courtesy of Jiz'yhumi Magazine)
For taxi driver Khnab J'ahkki, the realization that most of his Muslim "brothers" were also members of the Prophet Lovers Club of Dar-al-Islam™ came two years ago at the daily briefing of cab drivers by their dispatcher.
"He ended up the briefing by loudly saying 'May the Prophet Mohammad's peace be upon you.' I looked at the other cabbies and noticed that at least sixteen of the twenty drivers were glancing around at each other, winking and smiling.
It put me in a warm, loving mood" J'ahkki remembered fondly.
Professor Suq'un noted that even most married Muslim men with three or more wives are secretly gay, or at least bisexual, for the Prophet-figure. He quoted an important Egyptian Imam, al-Suqayah Yerdeek, as having said:
"When we are making love to any of our wives, in our hearts, we are really making sweet and passionate love to the Prophet Mohammad (PBUH). Only he truly knows how to satisfy our deepest desires."
In Cairo, as in many major Muslim cities, the Ulama (learned clergy) are aggressively pushing a program to start young boys early toward the path of really knowing the Prophet Mohammad.
Mullah Madeek Awhana d'Bakduhr with his latest flame, young Ahmed (photo courtesy of The K'hnab K'nhabbler Daily)
Mullah Madeek Awhana d'Bakduhr says "I imagine a young, very young Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) and my passions soar! The Hadith clearly show that the Prophet himself was a leader of the A'naal B'haandid (a secret Arabian society of especially close associates who sought adventures together), so we have no compunction against pursuing the same adventuresome exploits that he did.
It helps us to know him better, and who could fault us for that?"
The Prophet Mohammad as a 30-something leader of the A'naal B'haandid Secret Society (photo courtesy of Allahu Backdoor!!! Magazine)
In Shari'a (Islamic) law, homosexuality is a capital offense, but according to d'Bakduhr "that's just a black pot calling a kettle (sic). Look at the numbers! In Iran, if you are strung up for being a B'haandid, there's an 8 in 10 chance the guy who hangs you is also a member of the A'naal B'haandid Society. It's just ridiculous and hypocritical!"