(ER'sB will be featuring three "diary excerpts" per installment from the runaway Bestseller "The Imam Ralph Diaries")
24 October, 1430 AH
Praise Allah such wonderful news we received from the asinine waiter today -- despite his obvious deficiencies, he was somehow able to legally secure the purchase of the Burlington Coat Factory Building on Park, even closer to our triumph at Ground Zero than we had planned! O! Believe it! I nearly required a hands-on session from Fatima my secretary to relieve the excitement I was feeling when the jackass called and told me! I must admit that I did take what my right hand posesses, but it's alright because Fatima is already a whore in Allah's eyes, and will continue to be one whenever I'm in my NY office. Regardless, shortly after I was given the news, I met with the cow and we decided our victory will be announced to the world on 8 December, allowing just enough time for her to put together the package of da'wa for the Times to spread, and to double check the schedule with Agent "O" while I fly home to discuss dollars with Mahmoud (the American State Department, in their dhimma-like desire to please powerful Muslims such as I, has again given carte blanche for my travels! What fools! It's First Class all the way for this SOA!)
I can feel it in my bones, we will yet own the whole of Lower Manhattan, inshallah!
31 October, 1430 AH
I must constantly remind myself that auto-erotic pursuits are dangerous pleasures for me, as I almost met Allah too early, this very afternoon. Thankfully, Fatima came in just before it was lights-out and placed a chair under my feet. She is still a whore in the eyes of Allah, but she's certainly useful to me. She asked for a raise so I beat her with the rope for her insolence.
9 November, 1430 AH
I am back from a short visit home where the meeting with Mahmoud went very well. His organization is very eager for our "flag" to be planted at Ground Zero, and I had to convince him to not publicly praise the operation too soon; he is very anxious, as we all are, but we must be cautious lest the dhimma-like Americans catch on. I already am sensing that there may be trouble on the horizon, but have met with our deep-cover intelligence chief at NYT to plan for counter-propaganda activities. That horrid Geller and her compatriot Spencer, who are absolutely correct about everything regarding Islam that they publish on their blasphemous blogs, are likely to be the biggest obstacles. I will do everything in my power to block their views getting throught to the American nation's infidels. If only people knew how dead-on those two are about Islam's plans for the West, we'd all be out of a job! But that will never happen, inshallah!
(Look for ER'sB's next installment of excerpts from "The Imam Ralph Diaries" coming soon!)
ER'B is proud to say: